The First Rule Of Love

It’s hard to imagine but I’ve had my fair share of relationships in my life. Even with a person like myself I’ve had my fair share of loves found and loves losts. From short flings to the deep ones that tore me apart as deeply as the distance that seperate both of us. From the mistakes I made to the ones where I found my slice of heaven.

In love…I guess I lived it more than I thought I would.

So if anything about I would have long since learnt is to never mistake friendship for love. Never ever make the mistake of finding the attraction you have for a friend of the opposite sex a reason to love them. It’s just one of those things you would never do when you realise just how important friends mean to you as well.

It’s just that you would still make them anyway.

It’s tricky the way a good friendship is a lot like love. The way you care enough to stand by and listen to her with all the quirks she has. The way she understands your habits and worries for your own health. The way both of you know each other’s lives and make the best of it in spite of who they are and in spite of who you are.

Then you take a step back and it really hits the fan when you realise that a good relationship is also like a good friendship. The way you devote yourself to the person you love. The way she trusts you with the work that’s important to her. The way you would try and cheer each other up even though you have your own issues. The way she would try to laugh at your poor attempted jokes knowing that you would feel better to know she feels better.

No matter how you look at it, it’s just hard to know where the line is crossed.

But then I suppose we all have to make that mistake one time or another.

It’s just that sometimes the price we pay for that mistake is loosing that friend. It’s a hard fall you can have in love to lose both a friend and a lover in one blow. It’s harder when you realise just how important they mean to you when you’re sitting alone in your room unable to share with anyone else your own problems except for the person you are no longer with.

Maybe some things will always happen no matter what we say or what we do. It’s just the way the world works. The least you can do is live it the best you can. Try your best to make sense of something that has baffled people for centuries.

The best you can do is take things one step at a time.

Where everything goes after that is a choice I leave in your hands.

4 thoughts on “The First Rule Of Love

  1. hey there. reading ur post, i understand. dats y i’m not taking my fship wit dis person i’m wit any more further. it’d be a waste 2 throw away d perfect fship for something as risky as love. rite? glad to know someone understands… some of my friends dun… 🙂

  2. hi, i just stumbled on this entry this evening and i find it rather poo poo. in my 50 yrs on this planet i’ve discovered that a good lover *is* your best friend. and the only thing that destroys “love” is possessiveness – treating or relating to your partner as if they are your belonging, and you can (or wish to) control them. if you don’t love someone as they are…. then you don’t love them. the best loving relationships consist of *true* friendship (not just posturing to feel good about yourself, you have to be naked and vulnerable), physical harmony (your bodies feel good together), and some maturity on both people’s parts – the ability to stay in the ring when things aren’t firecrackers, the ability to put the relationship, not yourself, first. NOTHING is risked in love except life gives you a chance to drop your expectations (which kills any disappointment) and actually EXERCISE your ability to love. if you have genuinely loved you would never “lose” a friend just because you became intimate. what hooey.

  3. Then you would also forget that friendship like love moves in both directions. And in love, especially in its truest essence, it affects more than just yourself. You say hooey, but maybe its just that you have never been through a relationship with people who find it hard to put the past behind, or carry our mistakes in our hearts.

    Maybe both of us will forgive each other, but maybe we should begin to forgive ourselves first before we can walk forward together rather than apart.

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