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"I thought she was your friend. That's what I hung out with her."
"But the reason why she was my friend was because I thought she was yours first!"
"Sometimes I don't know whether she's a cunning bitch or a backwater idiot."
"I think in this case, we can safely say that she's both."
It seems that in every circle I'm exposed to, there will always be a person like this in the crowd. Someone you can't really call a friend because they are too self-serving of their own superficial interest and too clueless to actually be of any good or any nice. At the same time, you can't really call them acquaintances either because they firmly exist in your life enough that you can't just ignore them short of breaching your own good manners around other people.
So you tolerate them. You give yourself excuses to put up with them because you take pity on their naivety and ineptitude. Whether you genuinely want to help them or just give yourself just enough reason not render them apart like a hellhound, turning them away would always seem too cruel because they really don't know or understand that they are getting on your nerves. At the end of it, they become our equivalent of pet monkeys, in which their stupidity feeds our amusement but will always be aggravating at the end of the day.
The sad thing is that it's dawned onto me that perhaps, people like this are the loneliest people I know. Whether they realize it or not draws even more attention to their pitiful plight. Perhaps, what makes it even more of a sad story is that at the end of it, no one cares enough for them to lend a hand to their plight. The damage has been done and they are cast into obscurity far from our presence without us realizing that everyone else treats them the same way.
I know this to be true in my world and as much as I would like to change that, I have come to accept it as just one of those things you have to live with. What I want to know is, do these people exist in your world as well?
Anyone?
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No, these people do not exist in my world because I choose my friends with care and I do not waste time hanging out in groups. I think it is very unkind to feel like that towards someone in the group that one hangs out with but yet remains silent and allow them to think that they really belongs to the group.
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It isn’t as much that we allow them to think that are part of your friend as they impose themselves as part of a group or as your friend for their own self-serving reasons no matter how oblivious they are to it. And you can’t avoid them because they are there by their choice.
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They used to, but I make no time for them. So they get bored and go elsewhere. As for trying to change them or caring about their loneliness, are you kidding me? It’s a waste of energy. I’d much rather pick and choose friendships and end up with a handful than try to fit in and collect numbers.
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Maybe it’s the curious george in me. Always seeing what I can do with something. I didn’t see it as a friendship as much as what I can do in a situation like this. Does that make me a bad person?
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It doesn’t make you a bad person at all. It might set you up for disappointment, that’s about all. Been there and wouldn’t go there again.
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I know people like that. And because I can’t get rid of them (I’m not a murderer!) I’ve learned to tolerate. And yes I think they are lonely people who are insecure or have serious mental issues.
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Cléa: I don’t know about being disappointed looking to them for amusement, but I get what you mean about the waste of time bits.
Been there, done that, lived with it.
Almost Loved: And I’ve learned to use them for my own amusement. If I can’t get rid of them, I might as well used them to entertain me when I have nothing better to do.
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