The Pointless Nostalgia

In recent years, among other words of wisdom, I’ve always been living by this single motto.

“May you never grow old, but always grow up”

It was an impromptu lesson that Mel taught me a while back, proving that there is no shame in redefining what it means to be an adult, just as long as you do the right things at the right time. It was a lesson I take to heart and still is one that I will never forget.

If anything, I have largely forgotten the days when we were all young and carefree. Days where I would definitely want to forget in spite of the impact that drove me to become the person I am now. While I’ve taken those experiences to heart and made someone out of myself, it would seem that some aspects of my childhood and youth never grew out of their time.

So they make it their point to give me a hard time.

The irony is, I’ve never paid any attention to it. If it wasn’t for my increased restlessness for the past few weeks, I wouldn’t have known that there are people that so “fondly” remember my days as a youth.

To why people want to reminisce those days, I don’t know. I have to admit, nostalgia for me at least, is another way of saying that what you have right here and now is never as good as what you had before. To always look back at those moments, to try and relive them at the very least, shows a lot that’s missing from the life you have now. It shouldn’t be the case.

Life, shouldn’t stop at a certain point in time. Sure there are bad moments as so many people including myself can testify to, but eventually, when you put it all together, what you have now should be monumentally better than the life you had then. It’s isn’t just about a simpler time or a more carefree life, it’s about the things you put into creating and the rewards that you reaped on your own terms.

You can’t truly appreciate the beauty of your own life, until you’ve come face to face with the ugliness of it.

I couldn’t have asked for more. Hell, I don’t think I ever imagined more. Yet here I am, fighting desperately to make things work for a future I’m uncertain will turn out the way I want it to. If you asked me whether I’m happy with my life right now, I can tell you that I’m not.

But I’m contented with the intricate nature of all that surrounds me and that is more than I can say for the people I know that still live in that past, unable to move on from a time when life probably made the most sense to them.

Regardless of how chaotic my emotions are, I like where I am. I like the here and now and I maybe I would like what lies ahead. But past will always be where it should, in a distant memory that serves not as a yardstick to measure up to, but a point to see how far you’ve gone.

I know I’ve come a long long way. It’s just sad to see that some people I know haven’t moved an inch at all.

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