Thanks all of you who had the decency to message me on IM’s to ask me how I’m doing with my cold. As for the rest of you who didn’t bother to leave a comment on my blog wishing me well, I hope with a certain amount of glee that you will fall very very sick, very very soon and may you barely be able to crawl out of bed like I was yesterday afternoon.
Anyway, putting that aside, what I really wanted to talk about yesterday was the fact that the previous night before I was come on to by gay fellow, or at least I think it was a gay fellow. I was getting a little worse for wear by the minute so I wasn’t really that aware what was going on. What I do remember was the conversation and the proximity of the the guy which started of like this from nowhere.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: Do I know you? You look familiar?
Me: I don’t think so, I’ve got one of those generic faces.
Then it gets weird all a sudden.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: Are you married? You look like a person who’s married so that he can make a lot of babies.
Me: Ummm…no I’m not married.
I’m sick and I sound like a frog or a duck with a sore throat. There is no way I am going to entertain that question. I was sitting on this large water mains pipe and he proceeds to prop himself right next to me even though the pipe was big. When I mean right next to me, I mean his leg was touching my leg. You get the idea. After calling someone whom I assumed to be his dad for a ride home, the conversation continues.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: Are you a holy man?
Me: My job is usually to play God and get paid, being holy or otherwise in that line isn’t exactly a wise idea, so no I am not a holy man.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: I’ll be going to (some place in England) later this year.
Me: That’s nice, I was born in England. Now I’m in Australia. Summer holidays and all.
So far so good, then the weirdness starts.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: You must be there sleeping with every woman everyday making lots of babies.
Right there I was thinking, dude, what is your obsession with babies?! If you want them so much, make them yourself or adopt.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: Wait you’re in Australia right? Are you in Melbourne? Have you been to Melbourne? A lot of gay people there. You must be with them right?
Me: With them?
(Possibly) Gay Dude: Yeah, sleeping around with them. (He moves closer to me which seems really odd since his body was pressed against mine anyway)
Me: No I’m not gay.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: That’s impossible. Are you sure? You can tell me.
Me: I’m pretty sure I’m not gay.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: Don’t lie, you have to be sleeping with guys all the time in Australia.
Me: Well, I know I’m not gay. My girlfriend can vouch for that.
(Possibly) Gay Dude: Oh. (backs off a little and proceeds to be quiet after that)
A while later, he just got up and left without saying a word. I’m guessing his ride home was there. I don’t know whether he was high, really weird or really gay. At that point, it was getting a little out of my control and generally I would push it further just to see what happens for the fun of it and because it was my New Year’s resolution to do so…but like I said, I really didn’t feel well so I didn’t bother. Bully for me.
Either way, if he was gay. It would have been something because that would mean it is possible for me attract gay men on the fly. If he was plain loony…well we all know I have a tendency to attract loony people too and that’s a pretty nomal occurence (if you’re a regular reader and are not loony or don’t consider yourself loony, then I suggest you take a second look at yourself). If he was high, well…no, I don’t think it’s a first for me either.
Either way. That was definitely a night to remember. Odd yet strangely…amusing. Still, I don’t know if he was gay or not. My instincts say yes, then again…it’s not like I’ve got hit on by gay men enough for my instincts to be right all the time. Anyone out there have a better clue?