Its beginning to become very obvious that everytime I am around a girl in this place, it always seems to revolve around a computer. I mean…seriously, its like everytime I get into a decent conversation with a person of the opposte sex in real life, it would be around the systems I take care and maintain. So assumptions have to be made which would be:
1. I have no social skills in life.
2. Women purposely mess up their systems so that they can talk to me.
3. See number 1.
I don’t know how much number 2 is true but I assume in some alternate universe somewhere, a person that looks, thinks and acts the same way as me would have scores of women going after him and the only way to do that is something akin to a porn movie where the plumber comes in to fix a leak and ends up fixing something else.
I envy my parallel universe self.
I guess it can’t be helped. After all in many ways, things like this kills no less three birds in one stone. I get to fix a damaged system, I feel needed and useful and I get to have a very decent conversation with a real life person rather than being online. What more could I ask for really?
Aside from more situations like this that is.
Then I supposed that in a way, I’ve got to try and be happy with the things I have or rather things I don’t have. It’s not an easy thing to do and most of the time, it’s not the best thing to commit yourself to anyway. But maybe I’ve been looking at things the wrong way after all.
I have always been pushed to get out, go out there and meet people. Get out there and meet friends…you know…socialise. When it boils down to the fine print of life in which I do live by, despite everything people have said so far, I know I’m right about one thing. The reason why it hasn’t been working well for me to just get out there and talk is because it was never me to begin with.
Yes…I was that person to go out there and talk when I was with her…but I’m no longer with her. Things change yes…and with it comes my ability to socialise. No longer should I have to get out there and talk to people like everyone else. If anything…it goes back to what I’m most comfortable and most effective with.
Talking to someone through the problems they encounter.
If anything…it always has been more meaningful than going out there and meeting people. With this at least, people already know you can do something and from there trust builds. Trust builds so much, so fast that even now the most common line I hear when it comes to people I lend a hand which ends up in a life-story telling session is.
“I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.”
Of course…going back to the beginning, things like this are always far and few in between. Maybe it’s for the better. Maybe it’s not. In any case, one way or another I do have to look upon it in a way that satisfy’s my own need for acceptance. The rest of my insecurities however, I have to deal with that one day at a time.
I wonder what my alternate existance me would say right now.
I wonder whether he’s getting laid at the moment.
I wonder if he knows what a lucky bugger he is.
Have a simple life you said.
It’s always harder than it looks.