It’s hard to write a story of your life when it’s only been three years. It’s hard to describe the range of emotions and events that transcended those moments of time. How can we anyway?
We cry when we’re sad. We laugh when we’re happy. We hurt ourselves when we’re depressed. We grab the nearest person and dance with them when we’re jolly. Whatever I have been through the past three years, I can’t but be clinical about it. Some words can’t express the feelings that define your life, especially a life that you’ve built anew in a place you now call home. But where words fail…
There are still pictures.
Ivy, Kai, Me, Toshi and Mike. The Nappy Alley Gang or at least that’s what I called us all. The first few friends I made when I got here. We used to lived in in the same dorm block a year before, then we moved to the housing on campus nicknamed Nappy Alley after it’s certain notoriety. They were people I could live with. People I could talk to. People I can have fun with. Those were the good times. Those were 6 months worth of memories that I should never forget.
Melissa. What can I say? She’s a poster child for the criminally insane. She’s secure, methodical, cold and practical. She definitely loves money more than she loves me. She is the perpetual enigma that still claims that she was drunk when she started the kiss that would lead us to this relationship today. Yet even after living with her from day one, it still works. You can’t put a price on that kind of love, no matter how insane both people are.
Australia is a big place. You can’t possibly be here and not at least start travelling around. See the sights. Chat up with the locals. I might be a home-loving person, but there is something about finding the perfect moments of landscape that takes your breath away. Moments that have no better word to describe them, than magic.
Being a Bush Ranger would have been much more convincing if I’d have at least poked two holes for me to see. There is a lot of open space where I am. There is just miles and miles of open road and pristine wildlife. Perfect for people like me to take time off, get lost in the middle of nowhere and set up camp. I may be a city slicker, but I’m no pushover when it comes to being in the wild. Try wearing a box over your head while saying that.
Lelia from the States. The only picture of the only other people I know that finds solice in a place far from the place she grew up in. There is something comforting in knowing that you’re not the only one that lives in transition in search for a home. It’s always a bonus to know you belong to the same blogging community together with a penchant for being the best at what we do.
Evangeline. My cousin and my hope in knowing that insanity such as mine does have a gene or two shared among family. She’s a quick learner and she’s a true blue Aussie. I can’t wait to see what havoc she’ll wrought when she stands where I stand in a decade or so.
Given that all that there is to experience, misery and depression is not one for detailing with a snapshot. Despite it all, they still have their place in my life and more importantly in the past three years. But such melancholy shouldn’t take front row seats in moments of introspection, given that, there is always room to start exploring. At least to understand what makes me who I am and what drives me to build something new out from the ashes of the old.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next year or in the next 3 years or even in the next 30 years. All I know is that for what it’s worth. The life I have built for myself right here and now holds more meaning and significance than I have lived back in Malaysia. Here, I can find myself away from all the superficial masks that once held me back as a person. Here at least, I can start with being just me.
Where is goes from there is a path I’d probably find out for myself.