Sometimes I just don’t know where time goes. At least, maybe I am forcing myself to lose all sense of time or maybe I just don’t know where it goes.
It’s never the big things that take up most of your time, but always the small things. Cooking, cleaning, feeding the pets, calculating the bills, studying, watering the plants, buying groceries, the list goes on really. Next thing you know it, the sky’s starting to darken and you wonder where the day went. With all that about, you’d think people stop wondering why I don’t like to sleep.
It just wastes valuable time.
To keep myself company and give myself some break form the solitude, I’ve allowed myself some measure of hallucinations and at least giving myself someone to talk to, even if I know it’s all in my head. It’s not that I don’t appreciate my relatives suddenly becoming concerned somewhat, but like always, there is a time and place when I need company. Calling me in the middle of me doing things does not at all make my life any easier. And since people are never around when I would like them to be, talking to the voices in my head is my only form of socialising thus far.
Sad, pathetic and most of all dangerous. At least I know it’s all in my head, but I’m walking that fine line between sanity and something darker. I told you there was a price to dealing with all this by myself, I can only hope I don’t cross that line in the near future.
Otherwise I’d really be in trouble. That’s usually never a good thing.