To those that know me, know Japanese or know that I have an About Page know that my pseudonym “Kamigoroshi” isn’t just a collection of random words strung together to form something that would usually make people in their tweens go “That is a cool sounding name!”. For the most part, the name has a meaning. And after holding that name for the past six years or so, I’d have to wonder if I have outgrown it.
The irony is that the name still holds the same reason and purpose I took onto it those many years ago. While the cause of actions might have matured, the name still represents a person whose actions are still determined by himself and no other. It still represents a person who still goes out of the way to prove that the divine isn’t in charge our fate and destiny in the world. It still represents a person who’s still willing to kill “God” to ensure nothing stands in his way.
Alright, so it’s still an overly dramatic sort of reason to keep that name, but at least I know it’s still overly dramatic. Half the time, the name is so ingrained into my online self, I can’t be anything else but Kamigoroshi and that’s alright because to be honest, very few really sees the name Kamigoroshi as some pretentious kid who tries to act all cool. Most people don’t even know what it means and that’s a good thing.
At the end of it though, every name is just a name. It’s just a word. Even though the word itself carries meaning, we’re the ones that will give it the meaning. So I don’t think I’ll ever really outgrow Kamigoroshi. It’s a nice pseudonym and a unique one at that. I’ve carried it throughout all these years with a certain measure of pride and it carries with it a certain level of reputation, one I’d be more than happy to keep.
With that, Kamigoroshi will always be here, a part of the person I have always aspired to be and a person that I have already made myself as. This pseudonym already has a life of its own, that’s more than can be said for a name taken off a pages of a book.