Sometimes I don’t know what to do about my life. Whether my sense of duty and principle is worth the few things in my life that I may be missing out on or whether it is worth taking leave for the things I am responsible for to make myself happy. There are those days.
Then there is everything else I got to do anyway.
So let’s see what brought about this. Right now I have two laptops and a girl in front of me. But what am I doing now? Fixing the girl’s laptop of course. It’s just so like me. I have a girl in front of me whom I can say is fairly interesting and appealing but as always I put down the big guns to make sure she doesn’t have any problems later on with her laptop. What I’m reduced to is idle chatter with her when she’s not busy with her lab report she’s doing.
Hell…I’m blogging about it as I’m talking to her at the same time.
What’s wrong with this picture here?
It’s easier to see now why a lot of people who know casually know me seem to call my gender preferences and orientation into question. As far as I know, a normal guy would just try to keep the small talk going and try to impress the hell out of the girl with his skills as method of flirting whether or not he admits it.
I, on the other hand, just keep to what needs to be done. Whenever someone with a problem comes up, I drop all pretenses and just do my best to chip in no matter what the problem maybe…or even what condition I am in.
So it’s pretty frustrating at times when the problem is over and you want to have fun along with that person, and then some other interesting guy comes along and sweeps her off her feet…leaving me in the all too familiar position of being invisible to everyone else except when people are at the end of their rope.
It’s a living…but it’s a hard life especially when its one that sacrifices the bulk of your social life. If anything being a nice guy doesn’t compromise the principles that I have held on to. On the other hand you know what they always say about nice guys.
They always finish last.
Sad to say a position I’m all to familiar with as well, but then it’s the only life I have ever felt so right at the same time. I couldn’t think of anything else that would put me in a position where I am NOT giving someone a hand. I can’t. If anything, my last relationship helped me help people BETTER than I could ever imagine. Which is a loss to see I probably can never reach that peak again by myself. Then again…maybe I’m just the way I am as it were.
The things I do for the things I love.
Always has a price that makes you think twice.
As I said in the beginning, this is one of those days.