Things You Can’t Express In Words

That’s all I ever wanted. Not the fact that there are people coming up to me telling me what I did wrong. Not people telling me what they think is right. Not people assuming they have the answers for things they don’t know about my life. Not people telling me things I would already have known.

Just people who would stand by me in spite of who I am.

To the rest of you, I wouldn’t really say sorry because well…having to constantly defend my own actions and my own feelings is not exactly my idea of comfort especially from people who would want me to call them friends.

But to Dee, Kristine, Didi, Tracy and Shana.

I am sorry for how I was yesterday, especially to how I hard I was on some of you. I know I can be a stubborn pig especially when it comes to having people care for me. But it doesn’t mean I don’t realise you do try to care for me. Enough to listen to me and put up with all that frustration and anger I have. Enough to know how to hold on long enough for me to calm down. Enough to call me even though it’s going to cost you money

Enough to be the friend I need.

That was all I was asking.

You all may not have enough strength to keep me up all the time, but you care enough to try and pull back from completely falling over and that’s a pretty hard to do when the rest of life seems to be bent on making sure I fall flat over with what is going on.

Enough to make sure that I’m back on my feet now always here to be that friend you relied on me on to be all this time to watch your own stubborn backs.

Thanks for being there.

It means a lot to me.

More than I can ever put it down in this post.

It means a hell lot.

8 thoughts on “Things You Can’t Express In Words

  1. Right back atcha, sweets *smiles*

    I know the silence didn’t quite help but I’m glad we have the chance to talk/chat.

    Whatever its worth, remember I’ll be here for you, okay?

    Chin up. *muacks*

  2. Pardon me, but your ‘Thanks for being there.’ only lays for people who says things to you in the way you want them to.

    like you said though, ‘i should know already.’

    And besides. People like us (i know there are many), don’t even bother if you don’t say sorry. we don’t even give a damn that we argue with you. not that we are defending ourselves. and whether you like it or not, we’ll still say ‘sharp’ things to you, with our ‘sharp tongues’. i’d admit its fun for us to be evil for a good cause.

    it takes discipline to be a good person, and for every huggly cuggly monkey, there’ll be the snappy snakes that makes you think twice. both serve their purposes. the same way why the snake was a necessary character in the story of genesis, and why eve taking the forbidden fruit turned out to be the best thing that happened to mankind.

    ‘bad’ friends are necessary to define the ‘good.’

  3. Dee: Thanks a lot. 🙂

    Minishorts: Get over yourself will ya? I’m my own authority over what I know I need best…and knowing how I keep saying you should know means you really don’t know what I need…much less understand what I want. So you can really take that “fun” of yours and stuff it up somewhere else really. Because really…it did jack all to help.

  4. I can understand ( but not completely) where you lay all your
    sentiments. Sometimes its even harder to justify your words with your own thoughts when its coming from the same peson, same soul. What more having the other person to understand you completely or just about everything.Impossible. People tend to think they know everything of a person but they’re aren’t Godly enough to cater all your troubles, worries, insecurities and etc. Half of the journey we still have to fight through on our own. Anyways, count your blessings when there are people who critisize you or adore you, love you or loathe your…. becasue why? They remeber that you exist on this earth.

  5. 20Fingers: Hate…is what I don’t need. There is enough of that in my life already. It’s long past due for me to look for something other than all that destroys life.

  6. Yes Ed. I know you’re sorry.

    Hell you got me pissed, but you do know its because I feel so helpless that you’re on your way to destruction like that. It got me pissed not cos of the argument yesterday, but it got me pissed that all I can do is just hear you out and not do anything.

    Now don’t pull something like that off again, or I’ll be forced to do what I said I’d do yesterday.

    much love. *hugZ*

  7. *hugglesss* aww…. u know im here for you…. n u know im a stupid caring fool….who merajuk really fast …..jumping to conclutions without asking u first and all… i wish i can stay on a lot longer last night but was really reaally really tired and u really made me feel helpless ….but its ok… im going to putrajaya rightabt now… dont say sorry for the way u acted last night really… i know there are been times when im a lot worse than that!! and u stood by me like a rock!..now its my turn….. u know it right??..hehe… cheer up ok???? huggs huggsss cya tonite!!love ya!

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