You Still Can’t Replace Minishorts

Woke up. Did regular blogsurf. Found this which lead me to this. Reminded of me of these but in a more…geekier fashon.

Seriously though, there is no doubt about it, geeks can have their own sense of humour in a world of our own. If you’re a Star Trek fan, you should definitely go check it out. I mean, how could you not love things like this:

  • “Mary Had a Little Lamb. It Was Delicious”
  • “Hansel and Gretel Offend Vlad the Impaler”
  • “The Three Little Pigs Build an Improvised Explosive Device and Deal With That Damned Wolf Once and for All”

You could just add in a deep booming voice, close your eyes and pretend you’re in some twisted alternate reality where every small disagreements are settled by large curved blades around a circle of flame and very sharp pointy objects.

Somehow that sounds very appealing.

Anyway, I thought I’d add my own little flavour to the Fairy Tale title.

  • “Cinderella Who Bloodily Defeated Her Stepsisters and Stepmother In Honorable Battle To Claim Desirable Mate Who Found Her Blade”
  • “Rapunzel Who Cuts Hair To Use As Effective Weapon And Brings Honor In Battle”
  • “Rumplestiltskin Who Died Upon Hearing His Name Which Bears Shame To His Clan For Being A Coward In Battle”

Ok, so they aren’t the best renditions of Klingon Fairy tales, then again you wouldn’t exactly make one too when you’re half groggy with nothing on your mind except the fact that you have a business plan to finish sometime soon. I wonder though what would my tale be in Klingon Terms?

Warrior Who Slays Business Plan In Honourable Combat And Wins Many Desireble Mates

Yeah Ed…that’s wishful thinking for you.

I wonder if Minishorts could write a few stories with these titles?

Yeah right and the wishful thinking would probably come first.

6 thoughts on “You Still Can’t Replace Minishorts

  1. I believe that once upon a time, all fairy tales were extremely bloody. But for the sake of the children, the blood was removed.

    I mean, you can’t just stuff a wicked witch into an oven without first chopping her up right (Hansel and Gretel)?

    And Cinderella.. it’s impossible for her not to get pockmarks sleeping by the fireplace. So, the story is sanitized and politically incorrect again.

    Rapunzel – surely if you use someone’s hair as ropes to climb up a tower, they would come off, no?

  2. Unless she anchors her hair to something in the first place. But yeah you do have a point. They have to be bloody and lewd to begin with. I like the bloodier versions of it. It has more appeal.

  3. Your kid would be askyng : Daddy, what are tities you just said. Why did Cinderella sleep naked with the prince?

    And you’d have to explain all about the birds and the bees

  4. That’s the difference between the 30s and now.
    In the 30s, sex was dirty and politics were clean 😀

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