You’re Certainly Not Japanese

The Japanese are an odd bunch, I know several and while it does not paint a whole picture of what the Japenese culture is like, you can pretty much come to the conclusion that they, like any one of us are made up of human beings. Human beings that pack with then very very nice hardware…particularly if they are girls.

What’s even odder is the general obsession by people to be Japanese…or at least what is a fad in Japan. I mean, what on Earth are you thinking when you do that peace sign thing in front of the camera. I’m sorry, it’s just that the only people who can actually pull that off are petite cute looking girls who look they are in their tweens when they are pretty much past that mark. No…it does not work for you. You look like a hideous person who tries too hard and you’re better off giving the reverse more British “up yours” hand gesture. That at least has a little more attitude in it.

Then let me go on to the notion of a pretty boy, which is like the japanese version of metrosexuality taken a whole new level that went wrong somehow. I don’t know, maybe I have a class of my own with fashion sense being a geek and all, but If I’m not mistaken…the reason why asians have black hair is because we look good in it. You don’t essentially take something that you already look good in and make yourself look like an albino. There is a reason why they call it a genetic defect. You don’t want to look like a defect.

I’ve got plenty more to rant about but that would just be casting stones on myself because I am partially guilty of trying to be a little more Japanese. Not that I prance around in absurdly nice looking costumes that should have stayed within an animated series, but boiling down to the aspects of japanese philosophy or maybe the cooking.

And why not too? That would be a damn sight better than imitating the lost generation of Japan’s eroding culture. For example, this would be a variation of sushi cooked by real Japanese people.

Not quite what I expected
Not quite like what I expected, it isn’t wrapped in seaweed or at least in small portions you can easily pick up with a chopstick, there isn’t any wasabi to go with it but it tastes exactly the same as sushi. This however is my own variation of sushi I made sometime later.

This is more like it
Now this is something I’m much more comfortable with, it’s rolled in seaweed, it’s in small bite sized portions and I naturally have with with loads of wasabi.

Now comes the part which differentiates Japanese from wanabes like myself. It came to my attention that the reason why the Japanese folks cooked that up for us in the first place was because they were entertaining about 20 people in this party. Now they could take their time preening and trying to make it look pretty or cute but they didn’t because it would be a sheer waste of time and food is eventually going to look the same anyway…especially when you’re in a party with alcohol.

The difference? Practicality. You don’t see any Japanese without the touch of class with the air of practicality. For some reason that’s just drilled into them. You cannot imitate that no matter how many fingers you put up or how many times you died your hair platinum. It’s the reason why Japan is Japan with it’s state of the art technology and it’s dirty knicker vending machines. Their culture is built on that sense of doing what needs to be done, whatever the goal may be.

So it shows, you can amuse the hell out of everyone including the Japanese by prancing around like men and women behaving badly, or you can show them exactly who you are by doing what it is that makes you…well…you. Just one thing though…if you ever want to have a party, you better stay the hell away from my place because there isn’t a rolling chance in hell that Mel and I are going to let have it here in after the last fiasco.


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