Trying to Blog at the Blogger's Gathering in Starbucks One Utama on Sunday morning-noonish has to have one warning coming with it.

Make sure you have a Hotspot Account.

I mean seriously, one would think that a place like this used to have a Timenet Wifi access somewhere around here, but no. We currently have 20 bloggers in one place and only one person has a Hotspot account. Come to think of it, not even Dustyhawk who DOES work for TMnet does not have a Hotspot account for me to use.

This is just seriously too sad.

But anyway, being in the blog gathering called upon by our man Peter Tan was quite something. Being one of the younger generation bloggers to attend, it still seemed like we are all the same anyway, there were no differences and boundaries between all of us.

It didn't matter if you were a programmer or lecturer, older or younger, rich or monetarily challenged. It just mattered that you were united under a common purpose to put whatever you wanted to say on the net for all of us to share in your feelings and opinions.

United under the fact we're all bloggers.

Ain't that something good?

I know I should continue writing about happier things (so sorry Sashi).

Then again, what's the point of a blog if it isn't to put down the more important things in life, but I'm not going to talk in a cryptic way as I always do because I'm just tired of words games tonight. Imagine 2 weeks worth of self control torn assunder to know one thing in one night.

I found out she is dating someone else at a birthday party of my friend the night before.

It is probably one of the worse nights I have ever had after what happened during the New Years.

It hurts so much to see him carress her. It hurts so much to know it's just a lie. It hurts so much to know he's an obnoxious brat not even people I know well like. It hurts to know that she gave him a chance that I worked so hard to try and earn myself. It hurts so much to just not know where you actually stand in her life because it's the only thing she cannot answer at all even at all other truths.

It hurts and it's not going to stop hurting.

It wasn't easy smiling all the time either.

Looks like it's back to the old drawing board. Doing what I need to do, but…I know now it's not enough to hold myself back together. It's hard to hold myself back when you know she's single. It's harder to keep myself together as the person I am to know that she's dating someone I dislike with all my heart without any trace in liking him to that extent.

Some things need to be done.

Whether I like it or not.

I can't do this alone.

I need all the help I can get.

I need my friends there more than ever.