Gathering After The Darkest Night…

Trying to Blog at the Blogger’s Gathering in Starbucks One Utama on Sunday morning-noonish has to have one warning coming with it.

Make sure you have a Hotspot Account.

I mean seriously, one would think that a place like this used to have a Timenet Wifi access somewhere around here, but no. We currently have 20 bloggers in one place and only one person has a Hotspot account. Come to think of it, not even Dustyhawk who DOES work for TMnet does not have a Hotspot account for me to use.

This is just seriously too sad.

But anyway, being in the blog gathering called upon by our man Peter Tan was quite something. Being one of the younger generation bloggers to attend, it still seemed like we are all the same anyway, there were no differences and boundaries between all of us.

It didn’t matter if you were a programmer or lecturer, older or younger, rich or monetarily challenged. It just mattered that you were united under a common purpose to put whatever you wanted to say on the net for all of us to share in your feelings and opinions.

United under the fact we’re all bloggers.

Ain’t that something good?

I know I should continue writing about happier things (so sorry Sashi).

Then again, what’s the point of a blog if it isn’t to put down the more important things in life, but I’m not going to talk in a cryptic way as I always do because I’m just tired of words games tonight. Imagine 2 weeks worth of self control torn assunder to know one thing in one night.

I found out she is dating someone else at a birthday party of my friend the night before.

It is probably one of the worse nights I have ever had after what happened during the New Years.

It hurts so much to see him carress her. It hurts so much to know it’s just a lie. It hurts so much to know he’s an obnoxious brat not even people I know well like. It hurts to know that she gave him a chance that I worked so hard to try and earn myself. It hurts so much to just not know where you actually stand in her life because it’s the only thing she cannot answer at all even at all other truths.

It hurts and it’s not going to stop hurting.

It wasn’t easy smiling all the time either.

Looks like it’s back to the old drawing board. Doing what I need to do, but…I know now it’s not enough to hold myself back together. It’s hard to hold myself back when you know she’s single. It’s harder to keep myself together as the person I am to know that she’s dating someone I dislike with all my heart without any trace in liking him to that extent.

Some things need to be done.

Whether I like it or not.

I can’t do this alone.

I need all the help I can get.

I need my friends there more than ever.

19 thoughts on “Gathering After The Darkest Night…

  1. Use to do the T-Mobile wireless at SB and other places – then terminated them for free access! BTW, if you signed up for an annual account with T-Mobile hotspot you MUST tell them you want the acct terminated or else you will be continually charged! I was lucky – caught them on month 13 and after some pressure they terminated the acct and credited that extra month. Beware the fine print! 

    Posted by Maddie Dog

  2. It was great meeting ya, dude. And forget what I said about writing more cheery stuff – unhappy writers tend to come out with the best material anyway.. 😉

    Just try not to wallow too much in sorrow. There’s still a lot of good things in the world out there to be happy about.

    have a good monday! :) 

    Posted by Sashi

  3. Well…I’ve got a new philosophy I have to abide to recently anyway.

    If I can’t find a reason to be happy. At least find a reason to keep going.

    Thanks for actually commenting this time man. Appreciate it and nice to finally meet you in person…:) 

    Posted by Edrei

  4. Edrei,
    Tadi I tulis komen agak panjang and post tapi sekarang tak nampak lagi. Mungkin tersalah post di blog yang lain. Anyway, thank you for making yesterday a memorable one. Thank you for taking the time to come. As for your sadness, like everything else, it is a passing phase. All will be well again. Trust me. I have been through a lot of downs and I survived. You have everything going for you. Gerenti survive. Take care man. 

    Posted by Anonymous

  5. Would have gotten to know you if I had made it to the blogger’s meet yesterday. That’s the beauty of blogging – I had to find out what happened there thro Peter’ blog and then one thing led to another and here I am at your site. Hey, just want to say that things will be ok in the end. I’ve been through some tough times too, thought my world was going to end but there’s always a hero in each one of us. You will be ok, you’ll see :) 

    Posted by bkworm

  6. Thanks man, I know I’ll be fine in the end. We all have ways of making do with whatever horror and misery in our lives. Live with it and make do with it. That’s what keeps us going I guess.

    Thanks for the support. I appreciate it…:) 

    Posted by Edrei

  7. hey, nice blog! hope u manage to deal with ur feelings soon. maybe find something that u can be passionate about? glad to have met u too!  

    Posted by jess

  8. i’ll be there for ya…
    not a promise cause u know i dont make any promises…
    but truthfully i’ll be there for ya at every rate of time…though i have my limits in certain area…will do my ever best to be there for ya 🙂

    sadly though..i cant make for both blog gathering because of the bday party and that i’m sick…*sighs* sorry guys for not turnin’ up.. 

    Posted by dJcarmen

  9. Jess: Appreciate it…:) Thanks for the kudos too…:)

    Elena: You already know what I want right? Just wish someone would tell them off that this isn’t right. You’re closest to both of them now so…well…that choice rests upon you. 

    Posted by Edrei

  10. Heard of it this only after I reached home. Sorry if I jokes a bit too far at OU that time, man. I feel for you.  

    Posted by Silencers

  11. It’s alright man. You didn’t know. What happened at that party was far worse. 

    Posted by Edrei

  12. Hey – I was here before. I kne it!!! It was great meting you – you are one fun guy. My goodness, you didn’t feel good, and still, you brought up the mood by at least some notches.

    If you want to talk, either phone or over teh tarik about mysery and separation, I am a good listener in this. And might have a tip or two, if you want, or need. But sometimes it is just good to trash it all out. So send me a mail, if you need someone real neutral, okay? 

    Posted by Andreas

  13. Hehehe…Andreas. We all do what we need to do. Blog Gathering is supposed to be fun and it did keep my mind off things for a while which was a good thing…:)

    Thanks for the offer man. I really appreciate it. Maybe I will take you on that…seeing that the Summer Holidays are coming to an end soon.

    Cheers man. 

    Posted by Edrei

  14. I understand how you felt, because the same thing happened to me. I felt much worse, because mine was with my best friend…:( 

    Posted by dklf

  15. I understand how you felt, because the same thing happened to me. I felt much worse, because mine was with my best friend…:( 

    Posted by dklf

  16. ed…u know i wont…

    its their life…its my business as a friend…but if u’re talking bout 3 ppl that are closest to me…i cant go hurting anyone more than what i’ve already done… 

    Posted by dJcarmen

  17. hey edrei, it’s has been GREAT meeting you up. you’re quite a cuddly looking fella you know. haha. (don’t worry, i don’t have that thing for you :P) but you know..i know that pain man. try to channel your energy to doing something productive, like taking a hobby, or joining a club. who knows? you might meet someone who clicks with you (it happens all the time) 🙂 take care my man 

    Posted by dave

  18. Dave…that’s scary and comforting at the same time. Hehehe…thanks man. I do channel it. Into anything related to blogging. It’s been helpful so far though.

    Thanks…:) 

    Posted by Edrei

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