Iâ€™m pissed off with a lot of things right now. I seriously am. It doesnâ€™t help that I had Rum and Coke before my exam. It doesnâ€™t even help that I had Irish Whisky and some beer after my exam. Itâ€™s reached a point where the drink isnâ€™t helping me calm down because my fucking body burns it up as fast as I take it down.
Either that or Iâ€™m pissed off enough to evaporate alcohol.
The saddest thing here is that truthfully, Iâ€™m on my own in all this. Whether by my own indirect hand or by the laws that tie me to this world. Itâ€™s bad enough that I canâ€™t find someone I can really share in real lifeâ€¦itâ€™s worse thatâ€¦oh why do I even bother putting it down in the first place.
It isnâ€™t going to matter to anyone what I think about my life.
It only seems to matter what you can think of what he can do about your lives. What he can do to make sure you are comforted. Doesnâ€™t matter about good ol Ed is going through, what matters is that you know heâ€™ll drop his woes the moment he knows you need that friend to hold you up. If heâ€™s a machine that can troubleshoot peopleâ€™s livesâ€¦youâ€™re pretty sure he can troubleshoot his own life right?
Let me tell you something. Edrei may be the man who swore to watch over you no matter what. Edrei may be the man who would always be there when no one else would hear your cries. Edrei may be the man whoâ€™d always have faith in youâ€¦even when you donâ€™t have faith in yourself.
Edrei may even have all the answers to things in life few people think about.
But Edrei is still human.
A human driven by the emotional need to be accepted, liked and loved.
Things he never held as a child. Things he tries hard to have as an adult. Things he would do anything to get and to make sure no one he cares for ever experiences it the way he does. Things that carry with it both heaven and hell in the palm of a hand. Things that carry with it a limit that no human can endure with all the way in life.
Edrei has reached that limit.
Edrei needs more to drink right about now.
At least its more comfort than he gets from human beings.
*Update: I accidentally deleted this post and had to repost it again. Sorry Kristine and Frostier. I also lost your comments. Thanks for it…especially you Kris.*