I Really Hate This Right Now

I really hate when someone tells you that you can do something without actually listening to you on what that thing is. Then later on when you least expect it and in the worst possible moment, when everything is ready to go, tell you that you might not be able to go through with it because they don’t know what’s going on.

I really hate that as much as you try and explain things to people, they do not listen to you and choose not to listen to you because they want it their way which doesn’t work with the problem because they never listened to the problem in the first place.

I really hate that you blame me for not bothering about all these important things, but how the hell would you know I don’t think about it anyway. It’s not like you want to listen to whatever I have done anyway. It’s not like you were ever there in the first place when I need to ask you the things I need to ask.

I really hate the fact that of all the years I have been here under this roof, I have never EVER heard a word of comfort or assurence that everything will be fine. I have never felt at home even when I’m at home. I have never really felt like I belonged to a family when I have a family. You blame me for being distant. Why don’t you take a mirror and ask yourself where were you when I needed someone to turn to?

I really hate the fact that the truth of the matter is, that family is more than just flesh and blood. Family is about the care, love, compassion, sacrifice that they do for one another…and sometimes in spite of themselves. I hate that fact right now…because I hate it that at the end of it all…I still have to call the strangers in my own home, my own family.

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