Lately, I’ve been feeling an inherent sense of being lost in life. Buried under the responsibilities of the moments, I feel as though I’m slowly losing track of what I’ve been trying so hard to pursue. Such seems to be the life I live, where every turn is met with resistance and obstacles to the goal. It’s just that when each of those hindrance has a task to complete in itself, it’s not hard to lose track of the big picture under the mountain of smaller equally needful things.
People around me have told me to stop fighting, to go with the flow and let life take its course. After all it’s easier to be the leaf in the wind than a stick, it’s just that where I come from, it’s easier to throw the stick against the wind than you can a leaf. So I keep fighting. Fighting to pursue my dreams and fighting to at least remember that I still have them. I would think that the amount of problems you face are related to the scale of your dreams. Given what I’ve always wanted to achieve, I really shouldn’t be surprised at the mountain of feats that I need to see to for things to get done.
It’s just that some days I wonder if it’s worth being a leaf every once in a while to gather my breath, or will I lose everything I’ve worked hard for the moment I stop fighting? Or maybe the real question that I should be asking myself is, how much are my dreams worth to warrant this seemingly never ending struggle I’ve set myself up for?
That much I don’t know and I don’t think I ever will, until the end of that distant dream.