Missing Apprecation

When someone does things for you, regardless of who it is for, the least they can expect is a little appreciation or encouragement for their effort. In my family, such things are non-existent. More so when it comes to the things I do, much less the things I accomplish.

There is little sincerity in the hollow sounding words and constant nagging criticisms in my family. Much of which influenced my need to try and achieve things in my life that will eventually garner people who’d just pay some attention. Yet even that road is hard, very little of which have brought about a genuine show of appreciation. However, even that handful of thanks and encouragement still means a lot more to me than the things I do.

I have learned throughout the years, that eventually, there isn’t any point in doing something for people who just say they want it or people who aren’t going to give you the benefit of the doubt. There is a difference between encouraging criticism and just beating you down for the hell of it, much the latter seemingly indistinguishable from the former due to the constant exposure to it.

So if people are just going to be mean about it, there isn’t any need for me to do anything to impress them, regardless of who’s asking. What’s the point of putting in so much effort into something only to see people complain that it isn’t up to standards that defy common sense. There isn’t any point stressing out over it.

So I’m not going to.

I’ll just save that effort for people who appreciate and enjoy what I have to give. It’s easier than wasting time on you if you’re still going to complain about it in the end anyway.

8 thoughts on “Missing Apprecation

  1. I´m sorry that you don´t receive much praise from your family. I have always cared what other people think.. now I´m starting to get used to the idea that the only person who matters to you, should be you! Even partners can have their differences in opinion and can even mock at times, so the only person who needs to know you did well is yourself Use the pride inside to spur you on and make you grow as a person! Families.. you can´t live with, can´t live without them!

    Rainer

  2. Rainer Lexika: The only person in the world that matters should be you first and the rest of the world later. If you can’t learn to take care of your own needs, what more the needs of other people?

    Lishun: And how’s that going to make me feel better about myself?

  3. it’s not meant to make you feel better. it’s meant for you to rethink the decision to be nice only to those who appreciate you. it’s easy to make an effort for people who reciprocate. an every day person can do that. but to go an extra mile for anyone, regardless of their response to you? that’s what makes you different. that’s what makes you stand out.

  4. Lishun: There is a difference in being altruistic to people without asking for anything back and constantly putting in effort towards people who will whine and complain about the things you do no matter what. What I’m talking about is the latter, not the former.

    So I won’t put any effort into people who would just keep nitpicking every little detail no matter what. Life’s too short to spend too much time on people like this and better spent being nice to people for sake of being nice.

  5. You’re all adults. Have you tried speaking to them on their level so you can explain it to them? Sometimes parents are too wrapped up in their own status to look at life through their children’s eyes. A little education can help. Just like managing upwards in the workplace but more important.

    Parents aren’t always right, and that can be frustrating but they’re still our parents. All I know is that when we start to appreciate them as people, they’re already old, sick and frail. Or worse, no longer with us.

  6. Cléa: It’s a process that’s been tried over and over again, yet no matter what, it’s just something that doesn’t seem to get through to them. It’s like hitting a brick wall, constantly. The worst thing is that since I know I inherited their stubbornness, I know what it’s like to be set in their ways. It’s not something that can be done on my side, it’s got to be their choice to even begin to see things on the other side. A choice that’s hard to make at their age I’m afraid.

  7. This situation suddenly reminded me of the movie “I Not Stupid Too”, which hopefully you’ve seen. Yeah, I agree with the tones of the movie and your post here, some appreciation from people we help should make it worthwhile, otherwise, why do things for them at all? Why should we do them a favour and get scolded for it? Sometimes I just do not understand parents at all.

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