People Don’t Like Different

It probably goes without saying that the biggest disadvantage to being different from the mainstream is that you can never get along with the rest of the world. It is hard to do so when people can’t find a common ground to share their opinions, let alone their feelings. While this gives free reign to those of us who are willing to do anything we want because people ignore us, in many ways, it also breeds a sense of bitterness and cynicism without anyone to interact with. How we deal with it again depends on how separate we are from society. Some choose to shout to the world their differences with their material possessions and general outlook in life. Others choose to prove that being different has its better rewards in the long run, opting to gloat over our mainstream peers when the time is right.

Whether by choice or where the tides of life bring me, I’ve always been different from the rest of the world. I know it, and in many ways, that world that shuns me, knows it. There is only so much you can do in the real world when you have to put a mask to your own character in order to blend in with the people you work with. If it wasn’t for the fact that my job description entitles me to a room of my own, I would have to wonder how long would it be before my workmates find out who I really am?

The same thing, unfortunately happens online as well. It’s hard to invoke a deeper sense of connection with people because most of them subscribe to every part of being normal. If anything, the net is even more prejudiced and judgmental of your differences than the real world. It’s hard to make a valid point when people can choose to ignore it all the same and instead look to other people who they can agree with. It is disappointing and frustrating to realise that that despite having the medium to be free, there isn’t much purpose to it when the box of isolation are the silence and casual dismissal of your peers.

So I have a morbid sense of humour and that I have an unorthodox way of handling a relationship and love. So I have an extremely emotional side for a guy with a pragmatic, almost machine-like way of dealing with everything else. So I’m a poor person that can’t buy new flashy toys but pushes the limits with all my old gadgets. Is there any reason here for people ignore me for the rest of their lives?

Yes, because in the end, people don’t like what’s different to them and what they are not familiar with. Most people lack the imagination and curiosity to explore the possibility that anything new and different could be things they might like. Most people won’t make a move unless someone else that’s the same as them, as made a move first. If there was a greater pandemic to fear in the 21st century, it would be that cynicism and apathy towards anything outside our comfort zones that has become our incurable disease.

That part leaves people like myself perpetually hung out to dry, never having a way to be myself and be liked for being myself. That has always driven me to be bitter and spiteful towards everything the normal world stands for, further isolating me from a world I just want to get along with. The greatest tragedy here is just that I am a decent guy if you took time and overlooked all the differences to get to know me, but we both know that would never happen.

Human nature can be such a bitch.

4 thoughts on “People Don’t Like Different

  1. Which makes you wonder if that desire to be “normal” and “fit in” is some kind of biological impulse. I think it could be, which explains why human nature contradicts human society’s messages so much.

    Diversity seems to be celebrated, but only if the diversity is something stereotypical, which begs the question, where’s the diversity in the first place?

  2. It is a part of nature to do so. Similar enough for the species to survive, weed out anything different that might cause harm to the whole, unless that difference provides an evolutionary advantage. The playing field has changed, but the rules are still the same whether we care to admit it or not. Changes from the norm are never welcomed in the whole, not unless there is a pressure to adopt those changes, which again, relies on the whole to start moving.

  3. Two things that you may find helpful. Find some new friends and “man up” a little. Everyone feels this way at one time or another in their life; and chances are the “normal” people you’re refering to feel just like you do. Variety is the spice of life and you should be proud to be different; those who cannot accept your difference have much bigger issues than yourself. I strongly urge you to do some homework and look at the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI –goggle it) and read “The Seven Habits of Highly Successfull People.” Once you learn to value the difference in others and not judge them for judging you your “problem” will dissipate. And finally, in the “man up” department, quit whining and find a more powerful interpretation — perhaps your uniqueness means you are more highly evolved; the challenge then becomes how you manage that “power.”

  4. There is often a limit to how much people can handle the kind of isolation I’m talking about. Of course everyone feels this way one way or another. I feel this way all the time because of the conditions which force me to be in a constant state of social isolation. How often I do talk about it though is another another story. Unless you’re saying it’s wrong to let loose when the pressure is all built up.

    I’m an INTJ and it’s been a long while since I realised that self-help books are kinda the layman substitute for general wisdom and instrospective philosophy. While there is value in difference, there is also an awareness that society itself doesn’t build upon the mesh of those differences, but the upon similarities of social constructs, which is the point of what I wrote. There is a clear line which you cannot cross if you are to get along with the general public. Lines that I have long crossed.

    So there isn’t any need to “man-up”. If there is any indication, how I’ve dealt with this isolation over the years is a testament to my own self-actualisation and will to power. If anything, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, I’m hierarchy-independent. That’s why rather than the search for a higher purpose in life, I’ve already found that, and spend most of my free time, looking for the company of peers that can empathise and complement my character instead.

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