If there was ever the most desperate time of my life, it would be now.

If there was ever the bleakest moment of my life, it would be this.

If there was ever a realisation that even mistakes in the naivety and curiosity of youth can't escape, it would be this moment.

If there was ever a chance that everything you've worked hard for could be destroyed in an instant, it would be this throw.

Everything comes full circle, secrets will come to pass. Nothing will escape judgment, and forever will never last.

At least my tradition of birthdays has never changed. It will always be a nightmare of trouble, one I know I cannot wake from.

A nightmare I know I cannot resolve.

A nightmare I know will probably kill me in the end.