The Late Night Melancholy

Sometimes I can’t help it. No matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I try. Some things just never turn out right. I must be the only person in the world that can lose so many trusted friends in so short the time. Why this happens? Simple.

I’m an idiot.

Of course, trolls reading this would be having a field day. Then again, there comes to a point where you just need to get it out of your system and you just don’t care about what you say. Life is hard and unfair…that’s pretty obvious from the moment we step out into the world. But I’ve lived my life believing that whatever happens to us…whatever misfortune comes about…it’s…up to us to set things right.

Sometimes though no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to set things right. You end up in the quicksand of life where you make one mistake…then another…then another and everytime you fight back you end up sinking lower and lower until you can’t move. Until you can’t breathe.

I don’t like the life I’m living, then again a lot of people don’t as well. We all find ways of coping with things the best way we can. Some people have friends, some people have sex, some people play games, some people play with people, some people cry, some people laugh. We all do so many things to make our lives seem a little less horrific and mundane and a little more purposeful. I just happen to keep myself busy with a helping hand and cut myself on my arm. It’s kinda like a Yin-Yang kinda thing.

Then again I suppose…we all do deserve a lot of things we experience in life. It’s the whole karmic cycle that comes full circle. What you do always comes back and either nibbles you on the ear or bites your in the ass. The catch-22 is that either way, its what we do then that affects us the next time karma comes around…so in that sense…we often end up with the good just getting better and the worse just getting worse.

With all that in mind, it still feels bad to lose another friend no matter how hard you try and make amends, life rarely gives you the chances for your hopes to come to life. In any case, it’s all about hard work, sheer will and effort. Opportunities don’t always come knocking. At the end of it all, it’s about making your own opportunity to do something you wanted to do. Maybe then bad things can endup turning for the better…its either that or the good ending up as something bad.

I think I prefer when the bad things end up good in the end. After all, everyone likes a happy ending anyway.

4 thoughts on “The Late Night Melancholy

  1. I know what you are feeling right now Ed. Trust me. I really do.

    I am going through the same thing as well but of course it’s unlike yours. But I am losing someone in my life. Someone who has been there to see me fall down and get up.

    People change but I.. Really don’t know what to say.

    I want a happy ending too.. I really do. *sigh*

  2. *strecthes out very large n flabby arms but can assure u that they are warm n comforting*

    you BOTH need a hug…come here, u two!!! *BIG hug, BIG hug*

  3. It can end up being a good thing sometimes…just change your perception. It won’t be easy but hey…it sure is better than staying this way, no?

    *BIG HUGS*

  4. we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, it’s the essence of life.

    you have yet to lose me.

    hold or let go.

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