It’s becoming harder and harder to express myself these days. The lack of social interaction with people as well as any emotional comfort that comes out of it has somewhat forced me to deal with it in the only extreme way I know how, to be utterly insouciant towards anything worth mentioning to people.
It’s not that nothing is happening in my life right now either, considering what’s been going on for the past few months, I probably could write post after post of it. Some of you who actually do pay attention to what I do write probably have an idea of the scale of things I have had to deal with. It’s just that when it comes to actually expressing it, all a sudden, I lose all interest in sharing with the world my exploits and ideals. Where once was a person who couldn’t wait to tell others his day, how exists a person who wonders if his day was worth the trouble of mentioning it at all.
I don’t know if this is the final result of blogger’s apathy and growing out of a medium that has served me well for 6 years, or this is the result of a emotionally starved individual forced to come to terms with his situation just to hold on to some shred of sanity. It could very well be both, I’m not really sure. What I do know is that if this keeps up, there will be nothing left to write because there will come a point in time where my stories and exploits becomes nothing more than hollow words. If it ever comes to that too, rest assured, the person you know now through this blog will no longer exist. Only a shell of what was once full of life, even if it was coated in its self-defined melancholy.
If there was a solution to this, I don’t really care much for it anymore. That’s just as well too. I don’t think I have the strength or inspiration any more to come up with a proper ending to this post. So I’ll just leave it be, and let you come up with the rest, if you think you care enough to.