With so little time left, what I feared would happen has happened. Without any way to comfort my own chaotic thoughts, I find it hard to concentrate on what will be the last exam I would ever take if I am ever to graduate. My mind keeps wandering and as much as I try and try to focus, I just can’t.
There is a part of my that wants to let all my burdens out. A part of me that needs to talk to someone that can relate to what I am. It doesn’t change the fact I still have to deal with everything myself, but it does change the state of mind I’m in that allows me to do exactly what I need to do.
Yet, I’m here in my room for the past few days trying everything that I can to keep the disorder that are my thoughts from spilling out. Maintaining that self control has taken so much of my time, I find myself unable to focus on anything else in its entirety. So what’s left is a trail of unfinished business and a wave of needful things approaching.
This is why I hate it when people wish me well. No one ever follows up to give any kind of comfort in any form. Where is an emotional outlet when you most need one? Not on my front door that’s for sure.