I leave for Malaysia in less than 2 hours. So I thought this song might be a perfect song for the moment. In fact, it's a song best played for anyone who lives far away from the place they grew up in or just want to get the hell away from where they hav been all their lives.

Oh, your reputations so golden.
You're never lonely and you're never home.
I know you've been talking 'bout leaving.
You've lost all your feelings for this town.
Paint your nails and put on your lipstick.
You don't want to miss your ticket out.
Just because you graduate.
From school so high in the Gene pool,
thats your point of view.

Nothing in life will ever come that easy.
Doesn't mean it has to be that hard.
I know you will find out who you are.

That being said, I think I better go look around for souveniers around this place. I think I saw another penguin soft toy somewhere. I can't possibly leave it all alone now can I?

I went to Australia and all I came back was with this.

Ok you got me, I'm lying. I didn't just get that and further more it isn't for me, that's Albert's upcoming birthday present to contend with the other original cubes that he recently bought. What can I say, I'm a competitive bastard and I like doing a one up on people…just that in this case, this one will make someone extremely delirious with joy. Bordering orgasmic even.

Of course, what I really got from Australia is for a better part of the word…a sense of hope. That, I can pretty much live with a little more deliriously than a special edition cube. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, here is a very very good example.

Of course, some things are a little more complicated than they seem, but I've learnt over the past year or so that if it works…then it works. Let's try not to make things more troublesome than it already is. Much like a Rubiks Cube. Then again, I'm the sort of person you'd find finishing off a Rubiks Cube anyway…so either way, it all works out in the end. Let's just hope that this time, it works in my favour. I could really use that at the moment.

In 48 hours, I will be on Malaysian soil. You can say for the most part…I don't even know whether I am looking foward to it. On one hand it would feel good to sleep in the bed I practically grew up in. On the other hand…it just feels like I don't know what home feels like anymore.

The concept of home isn't lost to me though, but it isn't what most people would call a place where you can stay with a roof over your head for a long period of time. I mean…that concept would probably work best with ancient cavemen who hid from wild man-eating animals and the weather mostly while arguing which wall art looks best with the current decor. Then again, I don't think its that different today too. It's just that we hide from psychotic homeless criminals and replace home made wall art with Swedish furniture.

The point is, home for me is not just 4 walls and a roof over my head . That's just a place to to protect me against the elements. Home for me is a place where I belong. A place where I can just feel…safe. as I would have learnt a long time ago…some things can't protect you from the world out there despite having all the walls around you. In truth…sometimes it just makes it far worse.

So coming back to me leaving this place. Do I feel safe here? To be honest with myself, yeah I do. It's not just the fact that nothing in this place has hurt me at all. It's not just the fact that right now, there is someone here that I treat as a security blanket for my own insecure self. It's the fact that, the "home" that I'm returning to is one that resulted in more scars on my body and mind than I can remember…and I don't think that can ever change.

Most people would argue that I am acting like spoilt ungrateful person who doesn't appreciate what his country had given him. I say, I have nothing personal againt the country that sheltered me before. It's just that when we have an opportunity to make something new and better of yourself in another place. You shouldn't deny that too for the sake being sentimental. It's just being practical at life…and as of late, I'm becoming very very practical.

It's not to say that I will make a difference here too. Of course there is always a margin for failure…but I can say, so what. I didn't leave in huff saying I will never return, I'm just saying let me try my chances out here and see if I can really find a home for myself in a place I feel comfortable in. Let me see if I can find some part of myself right here in a place which has given me better memories that I have of back home. Let me see if I can find myself a future in a place where I have no past to remember. Maybe then, it'll be a home for me to find.

So let it be and we'll see how things go. I will miss this place but I will be back. There are things I need to settle back home. People I have to meet, family I have to greet. After that…the sky's the limit. Who knows…it might be the last time I will ever pack to move to a place. I'll just be left with those mail order Swedish furniture in the end. I wonder if they come in stainless steel chrome?

Why is it everytime I find a way to leave a place which I see no future in, I suddenly find myself a reason to stay for a little while longer? That's just choke full of irony isn't it? I suppose I can't do anything but wait and see life through, if luck would have it, if my own sense holds…the next 3 and a half months would be a breeze that I would hopefully get out from unscathed. Hopefully.

I suppose the good thing about this is that what I said before is true, that when you do find yourself a reason to let go of your own past, nothing else in the world would matter. The bad thing is that you realise you can't live without the good thing and it eventually becomes something that eats at you.

Maybe this time, things will be different. Hell, things are already different. I say in relationships, strengths will complement weaknesses. If there is one weakness that will be the end of all things for any relationship with me, it's already being complemented. Look…not a care in the world for things. Ok I do care about things…but not with the heavy burden I have been carrying for the past year or so.

It's not so bad too. I know better that it's nothing…solid. That at any moment, it could be fade away as if it never happened. But I think the beauty of that I went through before and what I am learning now is that patience isn't about sitting down and waiting for something, patience is about trust in something, believing in something.

I have a reason now to believe in something. It's not what people would usually think. It's not what you would think, but it's a reason nevertheless. And if there is any principle I abide to, it's that living life isn't having a reason for yourself to go one, its having a reason apart from youself to be out there in the world. That makes a whole lot of difference for a lot of things in life. In my case…it would be patience. Despite all that I am and all that I can do…it would mean patience.

I know that I'm not making much sense right now. I know months from now when I do read this post again, even I might not remember what I was talking about. But what matters is that right here, right now, I know what I'm talking about. Of course…what remains is whether I stick to what I do know. And what I do know is this. I'll do what I do and you'll do what you'll do. Hopefully what we're doing is heading in the same direction. Hopefully 3 months from now nothing would have changed. Hopefully, I still can understand what I said in this post with absolute certainty.

Hopefully.

Something caught my eye out today. Doing my usual surf, I came out with these few blog posts.

• The Seven Deadly Sins of Blogging
• 7 Mistakes for your First Week Blogging
• 12 Tips and Ideas On Becoming a Better Blogger

Although those posts are directed towards the more newbie bunch of bloggers that are popping up all over the blogosphere over the past year or so, it's still a pretty interesting read even if you're a veteran blogger that has been around the block more than a few times. But since everyone seems to be creating rules about things lately, I thought I might as well dig up on some rules of my own…all the way from "Bolehland".

Edrei's Rules Of Malaysian Blogging:

Be a Copycat:
It doesn't matter if you're new to blogging and you have no idea how to blog. There are already so many bloggers out there that can blog with so many readers. All you have to do is blog like them. Use the way they phrase things, use their own language and pass it off as your own. If they blog about some really cool topic, do the same thing. After all, if everyone thinks its cool, then who's to say you shouldn't be cool too. It doesn't matter how they do it, as long as you do it too…you'd be heading up the ladder in no time. It's always best used with the next rule.

Plagiarise:
Can't think of anything to write either? Then just copy the whole content. It's not as easy as you think. It's an art. I mean, how else are you going to turn that post about some religious fanatics into a post about your boyfriend? It's some careful tweaking of words and a little ingenuity that you can turn that great wordy post into your own with very little headache. Unfortunately some of the best blogs in this category have disappeared. Probably because they got for what they wish for…the fact that people DO read blogs after all.

Reblog:
Are you even more lazy? Are you troubled by the hassle of phrasing words into coherant sentances? Then go no further for this is a blogging style for you. Just go to any popular news or tech site that you can find and just quote a large chunk of news that you think is most interesting then link back to it. The best part is, it's legal and you can truly believe that you're giving your readers something that they can care about because they would rather read your blog than those elitist news sites that only want your money. Oh…of course, the only repayment you can have for your "hard work" is to have your blog peppered with ads. Obviously nothing comes for free.

Start A Controversy:
A little low on the reader hits? Your Google Ads not generating as much income as you want? Start something big and mind blowing. Say something that goes against the normal thinking of the society. Take the bad boy (or girl) stand and say things like how we should have death sentences for babies or homosexuals are the work of western religion or even (god forbid) toilets for disabled people should be free for everyone to use. It doesn't matter that people will come screaming in calling you ignorant names, it matters that you have just brightened up people's otherwise boring day and gained some infamy in the process. Everyone loves sensationalism. So why not cash in on that?

Be An Anti-Hero:
Want to look great without pissing everyone off? Be the champion of the underdogs. Always working hand in hand with the controversy makers, the anti-hero always takes the opposite stand of those evil bastards with the support of the people. If that's not enough, start putting your foot down on what is right and wrong and telling your naysayers that they probably are pansies who support people that support the killing of babies. The bad news is that you need people who would say stupid things in the first place to keep your illustrious reputation, the good news is that there is a blogger born every 6 seconds.

Keyword Captcha:
If you're just contented with your own "original" posts but like to have people flock to your blog anyway, always make use of the power of the net and human nature which is this. People are too lazy to read things to get the idea of what a post really is. So the internet makes it simple – they made keywords searches easier so that we can all find out what's relevant in our lives. Apparently such important keywords such as "Xiaxue", "Kennysia" or even "Dawn Yang" can make the most boring noodle posts seem so much more cooler especially when slotted into the title somewhere. It never fails to work.

All in all, hopefully these little tidbit of rules would make us a little better in the way we blog. Not that we need it anyway, after all, most of us are pretty smart anyway yelling out at the top of our lungs that we don't need any damn rules even when people from outside our little blogging community are trying to emphasize it. Pish tosh I say!! For shame I say!!

We obviously are original alright. We're going to walk through this blogging world with out head held up high even though we forgot to put some pants on. But it doesn't matter and you know why? Because "Malaysia Boleh" and we really can do it. That is…after we figure out what is it we do. Go figure.