There usually isn’t much to say when your partner ends up being physically intimate with a former beau. Under normal circumstances, tempers would flare in lieu of a trust breached between two people. While this isn’t exactly a normal relationship, my disappointment was still warranted.
“Are you disappointed because I kissed him?”
“No, I’m disappointed because I wasn’t there to see it.”
Some of you already know that it’s an odd relationship with the ability to go as far as the lines we draw for one another. Yet my encouragement for her actions in this matter has its reasons. Sometimes you just want to know if she knows you’re the only one for her. It’s hard to choose forever when you do not know what other options you’ve left behind. I know I what I’m leaving behind and I have no regrets in this. I need to know that she has no regrets either.
So we continue to trust each other to stand behind the lines we drew as a testament to our generosity and selfishness, without fear, doubt, or insecurity. Knowing now that whatever feelings she had for that part of her past is as silent as a cold winter night. Knowing now that whatever actions she stands for carries with it no feeling other than a cat-like sense of sadistic enjoyment. Knowing now that she loves me with the ferocity and tenderness of someone who has no regrets in their world.
So no, I am alright with it. Just as I have the freedom to to extend my emotional embrace, so does she have the right to extend her physical charms. In our world, it isn’t cheating if we know what we’re both up to. That’s more than we can say to the people we know, especially when it confuses the hell out of them to a point where it begins to fracture their sense of reality.
God bless our twisted sense of humour, I don’t think anyone else will.