Being in a long distance relationship is perhaps one of the hardest things to endure in a relationship. Some days, I’m not sure I like being reminded that I do have a girlfriend that I know and love, not because it’s meant as a subtle “let’s keep this as platonic as possible” or a pep talk from all my close female friends, but because I really do miss having Mel around as we used to.
It’s hard not having the kind of company you know complements you in every way. While I know now that in reality, I can win over any girl out there by being myself, I also know that despite my near pathological need for emotional and physical intimacy, I can’t do anything to satisfy it. There is only so much a person can distract himself with before realising what whatever he has in life right now isn’t enough without someone to share his life with.
And that’s the painful thing about being in a long distance relationship. As far as status goes, you’re taken. But while every guy is trying to hook up with your girlfriend because you’re not there, every girl is giving you a wide berth because you’re dating someone who is thousands of miles away for months or even years to come. Of course, I may be cynical about it, or I also may have good reason to be paranoid seeing that every other long distance relationship I’ve had ended up with the girl dumping me. I don’t live in a very nice world as you can imagine.
The truth is, there is no way my current relationship can look any better. You either trust that we’re all mature enough to make the better choice regardless of whatever happens now for the sake of a future you know is worth it, or you take your chances now, trying to create a dream that is heavenly and happy as the fairy tales we were raised to believe would happen to us one day. It’s just that in times like this, being a cynic means you pick the harder, better choice because you know there are no fairy tales.
A world of loneliness and hurt for the remote possibility for completeness in life. That’s not a choice people get to make everyday, let alone wish they had to make. I know you won’t want to. So I’m making that choice and living it for you. Someone has to anyway. It might as well be me.