The thing about being in a new relationship is the fact there are many questions that come up about it. I’m not talking about the many questions that people direct at you, especially old noisy neighbours who ask when you’re getting married, God no. It’s more of the questions you direct to yourself.
I mean when you’re in a new relationship…especially after you’ve come out of a messy breakup and a long term melancholic…time, there is this moment of excitement in which you’re willing to just stand up on top of a building and tell the whole world that you’re in a relationship that actually makes you happy enough to do what you’re doing then – something of complete insanity. But to back up a bit, there is one question that I have been rolling in my head for some time.
How much of my relationship and of the person should I indulge in telling other people?
No doubt about it, I would definitly love to scream my current position to the world if I could. Then again…what’s the point? Yeah, I’m happy. Yeah, I feel like a million bucks and so much more. Yeah, I actually feel that I’ve been given another chance and I don’t want to screw it up. Yeah, she’s…well there is just too many qualities in which I could describe about her that I’m not even going to list them down here.
The point is…as loonie as I am right now, it’s best that I at least reign my sense of joy in a bit for two good reasons.
- I’ve got to find complete closure from my last breakup.
- If I’m not careful, I’m going to repeat the last breakup because I’m dealing with a woman of the same ferocity if not a greater ferocity as my ex.
As carefree as I have become because of her, it still doesn’t change the fact that I am still a person who by all accounts know exactly what the problems are that I have to deal with in the first place and end up considering all possibilities from all aspects in all positions. In short, I’m still the same ol’ pessimistic worrywart I’ve always been…I just don’t bother too much with the results I come up with.
The point is, as much as I have many questions to answer for people regarding this whole thing, there is as many questions I have to answer for myself if ever I’m going to make this work the way I would want it to work…and I want this to work. Chances like this don’t come that easily in life especially for a person like myself, so I’d be a fool to blow it.
Do I love her? Does she love me?
Some questions need to be asked regardless of how things are because the entire relationship rests on that which needs to be answered. Some questions need to be answered indeed. No one gets off without answering to that at least.