To Love An Uncharted Future

“The fact that you let be whatever I want to be for as long as it makes me happy tells me one thing.”

“And that is?”

What’s to say about relationships? What’s to say about this relationship? I’ve never had it gone this far. I’ve never been in it this deep. I’ve never gone this way before. Part of me is still horrified and scared to be happy fearing the repeat of a past I cannot shed. Part of me is grinning until it hurts because of a newfound innocence I thought I’d never see again.

If I could stand on top of the roof of my house shouting to the world how happy I am in this perfect little connection, I would. Fortunately, I have better senses than that…and I don’t really have a ladder that goes that high.

As I sit here trying to put into words how I feel right now, I realize that there is no words I can put into to describe how I feel, because that’s what love is. It’s excitement, it’s fear. It’s happiness, it’s pain. It’s selfishness, it’s self-sacrifice. It’s the best of who we are, it’s the worst of what we can be. It’s everything. How do you describe everything? You can’t. At least not in one blog post. Even if there are no words to tell you how I feel, I guess this will have to do.

Offsetting everything in the way of the relationship, everything that should go right, has gone right. I think without a doubt, this would be the first time I admit looking at my world from brighter side of it. Regardless of the time and distance between us, I think, no, I know without a doubt that I will spend the rest of my life with her. Loving her not for the rest of her life, but one day at a time, for the rest of mine.

“It tells me that I couldn’t have chosen a better man to love.”

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