“Counting it down when we’ll be together again…”
“…one day at a time.”
In all the doomed relationships in the past, two of then have been at the mercy of a long distance relationship. And two of them have failed with spectacular results. Yet this time, in this relationship here and now, despite the ocean of a distance, despite the months that have painfully dragged by with a snail-like pace, never in my life have I felt so sure that this will work.
And have I felt so scared that it would fail at the same time.
I suppose that in its place, distance apart has the power to bring up hidden insecurities that are masked by the physical presence in a relationship. Things that none of us would dare to admit given the bliss that was then, chugging slowly on the track to its own even demise being apart.
Maybe what I have now, what we have now is something that every relationship struggles to achieve at the end of the day. The security despite the presence, the comfort beyond the words and the trust in the true nature of the people we love.
I have always trusted her to be the hellcat she always was and I know she trusts me to be the sociopath I worked hard in bringing out. In this relationship of distances, that’s all we have to keep us connected in these cold nights. The stripped away illusions that reveal our true selves, parts that define us, parts that we can never see or be accepted in anyone else. In our imperfect natures, maybe we have found that perfect connection. The acceptance of not just the good that we love, but the bad that we hide.
Maybe there is some truth there in all relationships, in spite of the distances involved. To be just as happy learning about the darkness in our partners as we are in the candle of light that they hold to us.
I don’t know if this is for everyone because no one I know is as honest about the bad in their hearts as they are with the good, but I do know that for something to have given me the comfort I have now in my life, it’s got to be worth it. If only to spend one day at a time knowing we’re both heading in the same direction. Shouldn’t that be how all relationships work?
I’d like to think so.