There comes a time in every friendship with the opposite sex where you wonder just why you like the person. Where you wonder if that’s as far as you go in a relationship with that person. Sometimes it might take weeks, sometimes it might even take decades. The point is, it’s not exactly something unusual to begin with…it’s just something very very natural we tend to dismiss all too easily.
How could I not wonder? Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that most of my friends in life have always been women and that over time, I’ve gotten used to the fact that because my life isn’t like the movies where the girl-next-door suddenly turn around and kisses me on the lips while we’re hanging out, pretty much keeps friendship bond all the more real for me and the many many women that are in my life.
So most of the time, I am exactly who I am. A guy who spends most of the time pushing the limits of flirting and mock seduction to otherwise entertain or cheer up friends who would never see me any more than a guy they can share their problems with. The walking talking diary, the big brother who watches out for them, the shoulder that’s always there.
It’s not exactly sad. For a geek such as myself, being that way for a lot of women is better than not getting any women at all. Ok…for a guy, that can be downright pathetic, but who gives a rat’s ass.
Occassionally though, the reason why I flirt and push the limits of what I do and say does have a more meaningful…reason to it. I geniunely like the person in a position that’s more than just a friend. Maybe its because I suddenly see something in her I never saw before, maybe I suddenly listened to the good voices in my head that says take a chance to be happy, maybe I’m listening to that little voice between my legs that says I’ve been alone for way too long, I don’t know.
But every so often, I what I do has reasons that have to do with me actually liking a person and wanting to be with them in the…deeper relationship sort of way. The catch here is that there always two outcomes to this problem.
- I’ll always be whatever they see me as and forever see me as being that way.
- I lose them.
Yes, sad as it may be, being reputed on one occassion as “the guy who can steal all our girlfriends from under our noses without realizing it”, doesn’t mean I get to keep the girl. They are always unavailable because they are in a position to only see me as something they can rely on. I’m not saying I place judgement on all guys or that I’m really good at this, but most of the guys I have heard from make the one mistake that I make up for.
Guys…for once…just listen to your girlfirends or girl friend. I don’t mean, sit and stare at her while she makes small talk while thinking of how pretty she is or how you can fend off the other guys that are clammering after her. I mean, sit there and just listen. Most women don’t pour their heart out to the men they are dating because they learnt a long time ago that alot of men don’t push it after nodding their heads.
Listening simply means understanding what they want and if possible connecting with what they need. It’s not an un-guy like thing to do, really it’s not. It’s just a very human like thing to do…to connect with people. It just proves that women were right all along, most men are animals.
So it comes back to square one. For the most part, I listen, I care, I connect. It doesn’t mean I get to keep the girl, it just means that in many cases, the position for something more has already been filled. All I do is fill in the gaps and give a little more purpose in life to the friends I care for. It’s not unreasonable. It’s just the way life works.
It would still be nice to be sitting on that porch with the evening sun in our faces, a beer in her hand and my fingers in her other hand. Ahhh…wishful thinking though…so let’s go back to studying.