Before I get anymore backlogs of things to write, I might as well find the time now to blog about them. Apparently I was the inspiration for Lorelle's Blog Challenge series which sets out to help other bloggers to rattle their "cute buns" in order for them to push the limits of their blogging skills and perhaps grow better in time. I for one, am not a person to turn down a challenge like this, though…I completely missed the line that it'll be held once a week, so now I'm two weeks overdue for that first challenge. Why is that not surprising?
Anyhow Lorelle, the game's afoot. So here is the first challenge.
Blog About What You Know
I am a jack of all trades. That happens to be my prerogative. It's my talent and you could say that it's not really something that I know. If you asked me to look through my life to find something that I do know and I am good at, it'll be akin to trying to find a needle in a haystack, without actually knowing whether there is a needle somewhere in that immense pile of hay.
So how do I stop myself from embelishing what I think I know? I can't, this challenge defeats the purpose of this because of this:
Let go of your humble humility. Let go of your fear of exposure. Donâ€™t worry about being arrogant. Donâ€™t think about what other people will think. Just tell us about what you know.
I think of all the things that I worked on in life and what else I picked up along the way, what I do know can have a significant impact on what other people do in their lives. Despite being a friend, a lover, a counselor, a troubleshooter, a shoulder or a walking diary with a unbreakable lock, they can all be taken out from the equation as bare necessities of a life in which I require to get a leg up upon. While knowing what to do in those situations isn't necessarily what I want, it is undoubtedly what I need. So brings us to the only thing I do know how to do and do very well.
I know how to survive.
The trials and tribulations of a modern life can seem overly complicated to those that have been spoilt by it. Love and life and work and play, all come as one unfocused stream which we pile up and overanalyse until we forget the reasons why we were doing them in the first place. We tend to focus more on the worse side of life than the good.
Despite my fair share of falling over the edge and into the abyss, if there was one trend that I could pick out from this roller coaster of ups and bottomless downs, it would that at the end of it, despite all the whining and complaints that I muster, despite the sweat, blood and tears that I shed, despite all the pain i have endured. I've survived it all.
Survival in this sense isn't just about "I'm physically here", no. Being physically alive may have satisfied the cavemen of old where the the average lifespan was probably 25 before you became some animal's main course. But survival today is about the protecting person that I am, the lifestyle that I have become accustomed to and most importantly, the goals what I have set myself to achieve. And that by itself, I know I'm good at.
It's sad to see over the years how people their entire perspective of life corrupted because of what life does to them. How friends and even lovers become older and more cynical until the very reason you were close just isn't in the picture anymore. There is no doubt that I have changed over the years, a little wiser, a little less insecure, a little fatter. Still, it doesn't change who I am and what I do. Whatever demons inside still haunt me, whatever ambitions I hold on to still drive me, whatever curiosity that haves me poking around with a stick still doesn't kill me.
Tweaking how you handle life isn't about being contradictory to what people know you as. It's about taking who you already are and what you already know…and just expanding on it. Growing on it. Adapting to it. Survival depends on such abilities. Without it, we'd be lost among the sea of mundane life. Stuck in the middle. Not dead, but you can hardly call it living either.
To that, I say I'm better off. I wouldn't say I'm better than some…but at least in retrospect, better than some of the people I have crossed paths in life. Knowing many things that helped get me through the toughest moments of my life isn't going to win me any brownie points in reaching my ambition, but it's what I do. To have the ability to know the right things, the right people, the right time and right moments does help me get out of the binds and into a better place.
I know how to survive and that's all I really know how to do. Whatever skills and resources I picked up along the way to make up for what I lack is a just a natural thing to do. At the end of it, I am who I always was and I suspect in the years to come, I still will be who I always was. The me that never knows when the quit. The me that will always know what to do in times of crisis. The me that still looks for himself in the mirrors of life The me that you love holding and the me that you hate thinking of.
I'm me and that's all I know how to be.