Finding Purpose

I'm not the only one that feel this way. Among my regular reads, Cas and Gnorb also feel the same way about their blogs. In so many ways, thanks to our ever forward moving lives, some social networking and maybe that weird neighbor down the street that I would like to cast the blame on for no reason whatsoever, our blogs have become almost empty. Scarcely updated and left to its own devices. We have contemplated leaving for good like so many before us, but I think we just can not bear to leave it be.

Our blogs have become part of our lives. We put so much work into it, emotionally sharing our feelings not to mention the hours, weeks and months just trying to put it together as a readable whole. Yet, contrary to the many people who grew up with blogs as a norm, this part of the internet does not define our lives. We blog not because we'd like ten thousand people to visit our site (though we have dreamed that beautiful dream). We didn't blog because we want to become sponsored, ad-centric sites in the hopes of leaving our jobs so we can sit at home and surf the net (again, a fleeting thought of a dream). No, we blogged because we wanted to, because we had time to and the words to string together to express it so. As we grew and nurtured in our moments, so did we lose track of the time we needed to share the same moments.

As a result, each passing day became the case of "I'll write that down later" that never happened. Eventually, what was left was a jumble of a story to share with a beginning we couldn't quite pin down. How do you share all the things in our lives between now and the last post a few months ago? How do you put so much of your existence into a perspective that doesn't sound like a high school diary after you wrote it? I dare hope that these were the same thoughts that echoed through both Cas and Gnorb's head as they decided to leave their blog out for just "one more day" (cause if it doesn't this post will make me sound less wise and prophetic than I'd like to think I am). So it comes down to this, what do we do with a blog that doesn't seem to fit a life we now live? It's a question that has long baffled long-time bloggers but one whose answers are already there in front of us.

We blog, we write, because we choose to. It doesn't matter if what we're doing in our lives, what matters is that we do it because we want to do so. That's what makes not better blogs or even better writers, but better people. The fact that I have been neglecting my blog for so long aside from the fact that there has been so much happening in my life simply means that it has reached the end of its chapter. I can't express what I really feel when what I write on doesn't agree with what I've been through. So I have to redefine and reshape this blog to something I feel comfortable rolling around in.

It would of course take time and a whole lot of trial and error, but if that's what I truly want, then I know I'll find some way to go about it. After all, this blog doesn't define me, it is defined by me. I'd like to keep it that way, for as long as I possibly could. I don't like to throw away something I've invested so much of my existence into. It's about time this place evolved into the person I am now.

2 Comments

  • May 30, 2010 - 21:25 | Permalink

    I can completely relate. There are over 200 drafts in my WordPress install; ideas that I wrote down to explore some other time. I’ve been going through the same slowdown of writing, though on a much lesser scale. I had a strong need to write for the first 8 years of my blog, and during that time, I definitely felt like my blog defined me as a person. Now I just write when I feel like it, and I’m slowly drifting away from that idea.

  • May 31, 2010 - 21:37 | Permalink

    @Jeff: I don’t think that your blog defines you, at least not from your post. I think its you yourself that gives your blog its character. You’re a complex and interesting person on your own grounds to have something like a medium define who you are. You’re one of the better blogs out there I read simply because of that. Don’t let yourself think otherwise.

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