For the past few days, the 9rules Notes has been a melting pot for all sorts of relationship based topics. To me that’s always been a good thing, technology is always less interesting than the philosophies of life and love which I have become accustomed to dealing with let alone talk about.
One of the things that came up in one of the notes was the inability for people in relationships to gauge similar goals between themselves and their partners. It seems that there is an agreement that as we put more stock into relationships, it becomes clear that you need similar ambitions or at least similar directions in life for a relationship to work out.
More often than not, most people don’t know where they are headed in life, let alone come to a point where they know where their partner is headed too. It’s one of those things that can always bring catastrophic breakdowns in the relationship in the future.
Not surprisingly though, the only people that do think about the parallel goals between themselves and their partners are ambitious people. People who at least know what they want to do in their life and have the conviction to finish what they started. In retrospect, if you were to put an ambitious person and someone who still doesn’t know what they want in life together, chances are, it’s going to strain the relationship later on in life.
But that’s how it seems to work. Ambitious people like myself tend to naturally size other people up. We compare where we are to where they are and see whether we can better ourselves from it. We see if the people we’re interested in are people we can drive down the road together rather than apart with one dragging behind another or taking a completely different road altogether.
It sounds cold and clinical but a relationship isn’t always fuelled with love, it’s also driven with purpose. If you don’t know where you stand or what you’re doing, how would you know you have it right? How would you know if the other person is right for you?
Where I stand in my life with my purpose, I am clear about it and I will do whatever it takes to see it through. The question for me is whether Mel’s ambition can stand the test of time and follow along the same path I walk along. Or will she take a road I could never take to see her dreams come true? That is something that we’ll have to work out together, if only but one day at a time.