Grounded Love

There was a time when the love we felt revolved around flying high and feeling lost in the cloud as you floated in a state of blissful unawareness. A time when nothing in the world mattered and every dying rose was unaccounted for simply because you were constantly replacing them with the new ones as a matter of perspective.

I remember that time. I like living in that time of my life…but as the cliche goes, all good things must come to an end. One way or another, you’re going to find yourself either grounded to love or have it float away to a place you can never live.

Yet of the two choices, being grounded to love isn’t so depressing as it sounds. Think of it as climbing Mount Everest, it’s a pain in the ass to get up there, but when you do and even though you’re on the ground, you’re still on top of the world. It makes sense when you think about what it takes to make a relationship work the way we grew up believing.

Of course, people do tend to mix up being in a grounded relationship and being in a dying relationship, but it’s not really hard to work out the differences there. You don’t really cry that much and wonder why you put up with the relationship when you’re grounded. You’re just happy, you’re not giddy enough to fall off the cliff, you know where you’re going, you know what you’re doing and most importantly you why you’re doing it.

“To be content to be thought foolish and stupid in regard to things” best sums up to be in a grounded relationship. Love should have the desire to do crazy things, but it doesn’t mean we have to be crazy to do them. It means we know just how much consequence we have to pay for the ones we love that they are worth the things we are crazy for. Given just how crazy a relationship can be, I doubt we’d want to do any more than absolutely necessary to make things just right for both people – dysfunctionally imperfect.

So here’s to those of us who have walked hand in hand with the ones we love, knowing that the future isn’t really built on the fairy tale ideas of love. Here is to those of us who know that with anything in life, the best things aren’t about feeling like you’re on top of the world, but the single step moments as both of you take to reach for the sky and know perfectly well you’re not going to plummet to the ground the moment you realise there is nothing there to hold you up.

6 thoughts on “Grounded Love

  1. What a lovely and thought-provoking post! Now that I’m a adult, I realize that “grounded love” is where you really start to show that you love someone. It’s easy to fall in love, but hard to stick with it when the difficulties of life start to creep in. I think that as you say, I used to confuse relationships dying and becoming more mature and less giddy. I’m glad to be smarter now.

    This post is timely for what I’m experiencing right now, and I’d like to thank you for giving me a renewed perspective.

  2. ChickyBabe: Well, at least we know now what to look for and not to get carried away by looking at what we feel. We don’t miss them…but I doubt we forget them either. 🙂

    DaisyJo: Being grounded in love isn’t about how to show that you love someone, on the contrary it’s about doing what it takes to make sure you got everything you need to keep the relationship alive…even if it means some of the hardest choices you have to make for now. Being less giddy helps. Having the second perspective is always the lifesaver. 🙂

  3. like climbin the everest, except you do it more than once in a lifetime.

    always a good thing to know that you been there.

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