Throughout my life, I've always been so sure of what I want. I'm a survivor. I think it's a common code of all survivors to have to know what they have to do to get to the places they need to. It's not surprising that I turned out as ambitious as I am, doing whatever it takes to climb that ladder at any cost. On many levels, I know it's all worth it. That regardless of how much people make or how far ahead of life they have already gone, I'm still one leg better than a lot of my peers.

Just that I'm beginning to realize that regardless of my own self actualization. Knowing your own purpose in life doesn't always mean you know what you like or don't like. Knowing yourself is kind of like a yardstick that puts in you in a better position to reach out and do the things that you do best. It doesn't mean that all the experiences have to be set in stone. It just means that you better understand why you prefer certain things and how you can best put the events all around you to good use.

For a long time, I know what I can do and what I should do. What I forgot was finding out what it was I like to do. I've been so focused on reaching the stepping stones, learning from the mistakes I've made then that I failed to take the moments to indulge in my own whims now. If personal experiences make our lives richer on account of their ever constant redefinition of our reality, then I've probably missed the point many times.

It's about time I took to finding out the things I enjoy rather than the things I have to do to avoid the mistakes I made in life. Instead of always finding a way out of a constant stream of problems, I should probably find a way to the things I might like that I'm not aware of now.

After all, given that there is always a never ending struggle to overcome our own personal hardship, there is no reason why we shouldn't throw a little joy and pleasure into the mix. Even if it's just for a while, a wanting smile in between can make all the difference.