It’s been a long time since I wrote about love. It’s been a long time since I have been thinking of love. Ok that’s a lie. There is not a day that goes by that I have the dream of that love again which I once had before. I know…the past is in the past and as much as I reminisce it, it will always be something a fragment of memory of what I once had. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to dream am I not?
Maybe in some retrospects, I am walking in to a world where the main problems of life doesn’t always involve the intimate relationship between two people. I remember a time when that became my life. The times when I was the third wheel that turned the relationships of others. Oh I remember I had all the answers then, all the right moves, all the right words, all the right people. I may not have been the cool player…but…I know I always had some part to play and that always was enough.
Love and relationships are always never enough. You may love someone, you may think of nothing but to spend your life with someone, but at the end of it, it’s true…it doesn’t get you anywhere in life except to wrap it all up into a nice package and tell you that this is forever for you.
That’s what love and relationships is actually. The icing in which people can see the total sum of your successes in. If friendships are what shows the worth of a person, then love is the coveted gem in which the price holds no bounds to it..
All things worth have a price, that’s just the way the world works. If I were to weigh the price of my friendships and love, the truth is that it wouldn’t come up to anything much. Not by a long shot. I stand here before you a man…no…a child who’s only dream was born out of the fairy tales that he never read before in his life.
A child who’s dream was to nothing more than to have the friends he could laugh with, the confidante’s he could share with and the love he could cuddle with. A child who’s dream was no more than just living his life knowing that he could do his best to stand by the people around him and watch them smile despite the fact that the world can be a shitty place. A child who’s dream was that to rewrite the world and stand at its top with his arms stretched out.
You can’t do all that when the dream of love is the only thing on your mind isn’t it? I suppose not. When I look around at all those beside me with what they have, relationships they crave so much, relationships they see an eventual end to, relationships that…well…aren’t relatonships at all. I see people who have defined or are defining their lives and good or bad have something to show for it with the people they are with.
Me? I’m still no cool player. I may not have much to show for and much to define in my life maybe because I spend too much time defining the lives of others, but I still have the dream of something more. Maybe that is all I always have to show for…a dream. It’s still better than nothing.