What is it about the male sense of macho that disturbs me? Is it the whole “It’s a man’s territory” thing? Is it the “We dominate, you follow” thing? Or would it be the entire “My penis is bigger than yours” bit? I can’t really pinpoint a direct reason why I avoid exhuming the macho self, but for most part I’ve felt pretty comfortable being anything else but chauvinistic.
That has always bumped heads with men who don’t like the whole whimpy, emo culture. It’s not that I’m whimpy and all emotional, though I have to say that I did wear those clothes once. It’s that I make no pretence telling the world how I feel. If I’m scared of it, I’ll tell you I’m scared of it rather than having you leave your back unwatched in the dark. If I don’t know how to do it, I’ll tell you I don’t know how to do it rather than making things worse because I screwed it up. If I like you, I’ll tell you I like you, no harm, no foul.
I’ve always had this inkling that the male ego is an excuse for men to keep feeling insecure. People (not necessarily just men) hide behind their own sense of pride to cover any lacking that they have. For men, it’s become part of our ego. That undying sense to prove that we’re in the right, that we’re better all the time. Sure it works when we’re in a job that demands a lot from us. It doesn’t really work when we’re in a relationship though, at least the ones that matter.
I know I heard this line somewhere but I can’t recall where I heard it from, or it could be something I said at one time and forgot that I was the one that said that.
“Macho men get the young girls, the ones that want to have their fun in life. Sensitive men get the responsible women, the ones that want to stay with you for life”
I can’t really say that I know if the responsible women want to stay with you for life, but in all my years of being just me, being the meek guy has always attracted the women too fed up with the male macho bullshit. While a lot can be said for a guy who win a woman over, more can be said for anyone who can keep the intimacy open for a very long time. For those of you who know the what it’s all about, you know this is true.
By all means, I’m not saying that you should be a wimpy crybaby that breaks down when something goes wrong. Sensitivity has always been about understanding what’s been felt by the people you’re with, much less admitting what you’re feeling yourself. Women need emotional security even though we try and deny our need for ours. But it’s there, it’s always been there reason for anyone willing to make sense of the emotional turmoil and bring a little peace to it.
Any man can win a woman over with an imposing presence, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they can keep the woman with it. Not unless they are the very bad men with disturbing thoughts. There is more to a relationship with a woman than physical and financial security. There is also that warm fuzzy place in the head and heart that you need to win over. You can’t do that when even you deny it in yourself.
Not by a long shot.