So many things to do and so little time to do them, so what can I do? I blog. Yes, it is an…interesting choice of priorities. One that I doubt my mother would approve off. Then again, some things can’t be helped when all you can do is wait for the only time to get those important things done. If I can’t drink on the veranda, I might as well blog on the chair. It’s perfect Kamigoroshi reasoning. At least as perfect as it can be in the morning.
I’ve been thinking about how far this relationship is going lately or rather how far can it go? I’m not as naive as I used to be about such things anymore, call it “being hit repeatedly on the head”. It started on a whim and as good as things are, I can’t exactly base a forever on such things. Then again, with such things…is there ever a forever? Maybe there is…maybe there isn’t. It’s not for me to have such an answer. At least not yet.
So why am I thinking of all of this? I thought that the whole reason why all this has been working out so far is because we followed the rule of taking it one day at a time? Well, we have and it has worked. But that’s no reason to forget being the person that I am and wonder any less about the “what if’s” and “what may be’s”. What if I pushed farther? What would happen a year down the road? What if I let go? What would happen if things aren’t what they turned out to be?
Now you can understand why I constantly have migraines. No sane person should keep thinking of possibilities like that, not without reaching a breaking point somewhere along that line. Then again, I suppose thats why there are no perfect people in this world. I’m far from perfect. I constantly wonder that with her unreachable standards, what have I done to attract her attention? Maybe it’s something I can’t see, maybe it’s something that she needs. What it is, I don’t know. But even if I didn’t know…should I care to know?
What I have done has been done and could not have been done in any other way or I wouldn’t be here right now blogging about this. I am exactly who I am. An insecure bumbling geek of a guy who always seems to do the right things at the right time at the right moment. I might not be able to tie my own showlaces when I want to, but in retrospect, she seems to be there to help that part of me. That at least I can be thankful for. That at least I am grateful for.
I am in something that works and works for now. There isn’t much that I could ask for except for the will to keep to the path that I have chose for myself. Nothing much to ask except to hope that my insecurities don’t get in the way of some of the good things in life. Yeah, I still believe there should be a reason for everything, then again…some of the best things in life doesn’t have to have an answer at the moment. All good things may come to an end eventually…but at least…there are good things in life.
You can’t ask for any more than that.