The Lies Are The Truth

Quofda, the site that brings you all the questions you can afford to answer asks this question today. Why do you lie?

It’s a question that none of us can really escape from. After all, one way or another, through all aspects of our life, we all lie. We all have our reasons for lying. We all have our justifications for doing so when we get caught. This is mine reason for it. Actually this was my single biggest reason for being one.

I was a single child brought up with strict Asian parents. There is no way in hell I would want to get into trouble if I knew I could avoid it. I was good too. I learned how to keep lies to the completely plausible. Because realistically it can happen and it has happened before, therefore it probably is the truth. Anything at least to keep myself out of with my parents.

Later on in life, lying became my source of making friends. Being different in school meant mostly one thing for me, complete alienation from most of the kids. To soften the blow and get along somewhat with people, I would lie to be normal. I would tell them exactly what they are used to hearing. Anything to not be even more of an oddball that I already was. Not that it was a complete success in every case, nevertheless, it was how I survived high school.

It wasn’t long until I realized that it didn’t matter what you say, lies are always called out by how you say it. No matter how much I told the truth, because it was always unconventional to so many people, it couldn’t be accepted in any other way but a lie. As for the lies of normalcy, of the mundane, will always be believed wholeheartedly because people expect it to be that way.

So it brings me to my reasons today. I tell you a lie because I want to get along with you. I tell you a lie because I don’t want to scare you with the first 3 thoughts that pop into my head. I tell you a lie because you could never accept the truth as it is on the first go.

That being said, I’ll tell you the truth because I know you’ll laugh it off as some kind of tall tale without prejudice nor realization of its significance. I’ll tell you the truth because I respect you not as a friend but as someone who walks that same road not taken. I’ll tell you the truth because you have the decency to ask for it.

The world that I see at least, isn’t littered with people ready to accept truths, especially ones that so deviate from their perception in life. At the end of it, all lies to them are true, even the ones they know are lies, lies that they tell to themselves. The only comfort at least is to laugh off the truths that sounds so implausible.

Maybe that’s why I’m telling you the truth now. But after this, that’s something that you have to really decide for yourself.

3 thoughts on “The Lies Are The Truth

  1. Thanks for writing this frank and brutally honest piece. I’ve learned the hard way that to lie is to delay the inevitable because the truth always finds a way to float up to the surface.

    I think lying or pretending to be someone you’re not is primordial. We learn about image engineering from none other than our parents – about the importance of looking good in people’s eyes in order to gain some benefit. We learn about conditional love at a young age.

    Its a lesson that starts us down the slippery slope. We started off as honest & naive creatures (kids have a disturbing habit of telling the truth) but as we grow up the value of honesty becomes questionable. We learn that the world rewards perfection but we’re born imperfect. The gap is painful and as it becomes sharper, we slowly blur the line between little white lies and full blown ones.

    The rules don’t change as an adult. You can pretend to be rich and afford things you can’t (we got bank loans & credit cards for that), be someone you’re not (we got make-up and plastic surgery) or you can spin a few yarns. We’ve got all the tools to become the perfect person that society wants us to be. A few “successes”, maybe a job or a relationship, reinforce the need for this self re-engineering which in time becomes routine. Life is a competition and you feel its a legitimate means to get ahead.

    If puffer fish and chameleons can pretend to be things they’re not, I have to wonder if living things are by nature predisposed to deception. The uncomfortable question is, is it possible that lying is a Darwinian trait in all of us?

    I’m beginning to think that just maybe, there’s no such thing as right or wrong, that there’s only consequences. And lying clearly has its consequences.

  2. When you explain it that way Damian, it’s not really primordial. It’s just the way culture has integrated itself into our lives. That we have to wear masks to get along with one another, hiding what IS primordial to us to get along with society.

    It is that part of society that makes the rules. That part of society that tells us what we should do, what we should wear and how we should act. Lying at least, shouldn’t be the tool to integrate yourself in a society that encourages the denial of who you are. It should be the tool to protect yourself as you really are.

    To which, there will always be consequences, to every action, not just in the lies we tell and the masks we wear. The only difference is…at what point will we owe up to the truth, or do we take on another mask, another lie to keep living in that world? Not a decision anyone can make lightly.

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