Roads From Here Till Eternity

Someone once told me that if you woke up everyday and went to sleep every night for the rest of your life and couldn’t think of nothing but writing, it’s pretty safe to say that you were meant to be a writer. Taking the same thing into perspective, if I woke up everyday for as long as I shall live and wanted nothing else but to work on cancer, I’m better off being an oncologist. It does make you wonder what do prostitutes think about the moment they wake up though.

Unfortunately, I don’t wake up every morning thinking about cancer or sex…just some days. Some other days I wake up wanting to be the captain of my own ship going where no man has gone before. I know it is pretty hard to get your hands on one of those new fangled faster than light space ships these days but you can’t blame a guy for trying.

The point really is that throughout my life, people always think that I have a pretty confidant air around me that I know exactly what I want. After all, when you’re willing to endure peptic ulcers to reach the end of your goal because you know you want it, that kinda speaks of determination in volumes. It’s hard to think of anyone willing to go through that when they aren’t goal orientated.

Truth is, as much as I know what I want within arms reach, the rest of my life like the rest of us, is a fuzzy cloud of uncertainty. There isn’t much to say about what or how I see myself within the next 20-30 years much less have an absolute surefire plan on how to get there. I may have had it once, but who didn’t when they thought they could do anything with the world?

Then again, the world has its ways of changing your own perspectives and while some things may not always go according to plan, at the end of the day you’re left with your own sense of self expectations for the future. Your dreams and hopes that one day you will reach out and touch the dreams that you always held up high. Maybe in my case, at the end of all that’s said and done, it isn’t just about curing cancer, racing to the stars or singing my heart out in front of millions of screaming fans. Maybe in all my years of twilight desires, all I wanted to do was to change the world and put my foot down on epitome of history as a simple person who stood up for what he believed and made a difference from it.

Maybe all I ever wake up and go to bed with is the hopes that I can make the extraordinary out of the ordinary. Maybe that doesn’t need much of a dedicated career to accomplish that. Maybe what I need is to keep on going with what I can do and at the end of it see how far I’ve gone from when I first opened my eyes.

3 thoughts on “Roads From Here Till Eternity

  1. I can’t say that what I wake up with or go to sleep thinking about is related to what I want to do in life. Maybe I had done it in the past and now I enjoy escapism through my imagination. It’s good to have a purpose though, provided you can sleep at night. 🙂

  2. Then again…not to be burdened by specifics but isn’t that imagination part of your work as well? When purpose and your love for it comes together, that would make for a very very contented life wouldn’t it?

  3. “Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must,” then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your while life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.”
    – from “letters to a young poet” by ranier maria rilke

    “someone” told you? you sure my fave poet didn’t tell you that? =)

    anyway, with so much life ahead, the most we can do is have a big picture, a rough picture because worrying about the details of the future will only prevent us from living life in the present. it’s a mistake alot of us make. i’d rather have the beer on the porch. what about you?

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