It’s hard to pretend that everything else in the world doesn’t matter, especially when it does matter. Some of us aren’t born to be machines and as much as we try, hiding and holding everything inside of us only serves to eat the parts of us what make who we are. But the farce isn’t without purpose.
Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t like in order to uphold the responsibilities we are tasked over. More so, we do it to protect the people we care about. While taxing on the state of our sanity, nothing good comes from directing our frustrations and displeasure at the world. So to protect that world, we become its source of strength. We become the cold dark that’s unaffected by the rigours and stress that life mercilessly throws at us. To protect everything we care for, we shoulder those burdens that are met out to test us.
Yet, what of our own fragile self? Do we have a choice to save ourselves from a potential breakdown? Yes, we always do. The question is, will life ever let us off so easily to take a break? That depends on how lucky you can be. At least in my case, I don’t have to be surprised at what I already know. Life for me isn’t one born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but at least I can say I kept on fighting it, even if was for selfish reasons, even if it was for selfless motives. At least I keep fighting…until I go down that is.
When that time comes of course, don’t blame me and most certainly don’t blame yourself. It was my choice given what I had. For better or worse, I think I reserve the right to exercise my actions to the best of my abilities. Especially because it was done to protect you, from the world that would hurt you.
And especially from the me who burns with a black fire that no one should ever see.