How far can we walk around the lives that we wish we were in? How far can we pretend to live the perfect lives we wished we were living? How long can any of us trade existance for the moments that we wish could never end? And what price are we willing to pay for just that trade off?
When I was younger as with all children, I had dreams. Better yet, I had plans to go with those dreams. Plans that could go far beyond any dream any child or adult could have concieved. I was always obsessing with plans within plans, taking ideas apart and fitting it in whithin more plans. Even when I was young, I always believed that if you never stopped planning for the future and always anticipating what could happen, you could always somehow…live forever…always one step ahead of the Angel of Death.
Some dreams never do die and better yet, some ways always stay the same. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped planning and moving things into positions like a giant chess game. I don’t think I ever will stop the dreams of making my mark in the universe, to prove that I’m not just some small gear in the wheel of reality.
But yet…some things do indeed change. I’ve learnt over time that you cannot plan for the future if you don’t at least stop to live in the present. Always seeing what’s around you rather than what’s far ahead. By that and the people I’ve found and the people I’ve lost, I’ve learnt to just…live for the moment. Live from moment to moment seeing all that’s around me, to see the life, the reality that flows around all of us in that one single moment in eternity.
So where does that leave me? Still goes back to planning the plans…but this time walking every step and looking at every thing I can look at. To stop dwelling on the future that cannot be comfirmed…but to determine the present that I can deal with…here and now. That’s what matters. Life can suck so bad…we could do worse things than taking our life. But it isn’t what life throws at us that matters…its how we deal with it that makes the difference.
So back to the beginning…How far can we pretend to live the perfect lives we wished we were living? Just the briefest of moments. Because you can’t pretend forever, so why bother keeping it? Concentrate on making it here and now…don’t imagine it…shape it…what has any of us got to lose?