“Sometimes I wish I could walk away from everything I have right now and start my life again in a clean slate. Sometimes I wish I could just forget all the things that happen in my own life and just be free of the demons that constantly grasp and claw at my mind. I wish I could do all that. Walk away from all the responsibilities and the price that comes with it.
I so wish it.
But I can’t.
You can’t walk away from promises you made to people about things…important things in life that they have taken for granted. You can’t walk away from previous failures of your own existence when they are all that you have to remind you to be better than you are right now. You can’t walk away from the path no matter how hard it is when there are so many loose ends that have yet to be tied.
You just can’t.”
People say that if you tell yourself you can’t do something, you definitely won’t. I actually agree with people on this. But this post is a rant. It’s a collective block of frustration and self-loathing put into written words because there isn’t anyone to hear them out in the real world.
When you come to think of it, yes there are an awful lot of people expressing their resentment and melancholy in their blogs. Then again…there is also an awful lot of people expressing sheer catatonic stupidity by writing senseless “noodle posts” in their blogs too so how is it any different? Maybe the difference is in how the world sees it. What matters to people and what people think would always differs on that point. What is important to you and what you see may be different from what I see and what it important for me.
That’s the variety that comes with blogs.
That’s the life that comes with blogging.
Of course, there will always be naysayers and trolls. There will aways be friends and people who care. There will always be random strangers who keep a neutral comment. But that’s what blogging is about really. Taking the chance to tell the whole world what you feel and having them tell you how they feel about it. It doesn’t have to be bad but it doesn’t have to be good either. It just is what it is.
A reflection of yourself and the world you live in.
We might not like the reactions that come with it, but then which person like to have their own thoughts questioned or put under fire anyway? It’s the way it is and it would be very hypocritical of us to say as truly appreciate all forms of comments. It’s who we are…more so when you are a blogger yourself. Unless you’re a mental masochist…its not exactly the easiest thing to handle on a daily basis.
Even this post is a direct reflection of who I am, taking my own melancholy and pain and using it as an example of what blogging is about. Those of you who know me know that’s always what I do…whether I want to or not. It always comes to that…but as far as blogs go. This is an imprint of who I am in the world. What I do and how I do it.
From subtle motives to unescapable snapshots.
Every blog’s heart is the same that way.
And will always be for as long as we keep blogging.