The Hypocrisy Of Blogs (Principles Under Fire)

As I wrote in my previous post a few days ago, there is a certain level of hypocrisy when it comes to the level of being who you are in the personal posts you write. It’s hard to gain much support and attention from the blogging public when a large part of your life is a series of unfortunate events. Most people have very low limits when it comes to dealing with other people’s melancholic personal lives.

So here comes the 64 thousand dollar question.

How much of your principles in writing who you are do you have to compromise to gain enough popularity for the support you need to snap you out of your melancholic state?

Has the essance of blogging gone so far out the window that we even have to wear masks in what we put down on our blogs to get along with the general blogging community?

Even as I write this post, there is a part of my mind that has deeply considered shortchanging the current way I blog for the more favourable ways of attracting public attention which is to:

  1. Write happy posts that would make people fall of their chair laughing.
  2. Write insane posts that depict how unstable your mind is.
  3. Put up lots of pictures (edited and non-edited) of crazy things that would make people’s eyes pop out of their skulls.
  4. Write about your sexual life.

Now I have avoided listing writing about thought-provoking posts here because in essance that is what I have been doing ever since I started blogging in the first place. It just doesn’t seem to have the kind of attractive effect I would expect from people because at the end of it all, most people just skim through the posts subconsciously looking for the 4 things above.

But the point in all this is that at the end of the day there are people like me who doesn’t have the general things to be well known in the masses. So in the end it becomes a power struggle of principles to balance between a deserved attention and underdog obscurity. I for one at least startd blogging because it’s a big world out there and I figure I could at least find people who could understand and support me for who I am.

Results have been disappointing thus far.

It’s just frustrating to know that the people who in my mind draw the biggest crowds are the people who have everything I don’t naturally have. It’s frustrating to know I started my social life online to escape the widespread superficial outlook in real life to find the same thing creeping into personal blogs today.

And it’s not just me…there are plenty of people who blog out there with the same purpose of having and needing some acceptance from the community but instead fall prey to such obscurity through a system that thrives on such large outspoken voices. So it comes to this, would this breed people who begin to blog for the same reason people in real life pretend to cheery and happy in the face of the things that really matter?

I say it has already begun.

You can’t fight a system that is built on our own narcissism and natural tendancy to blank out things that use our brains. I should know…I’ve been doing that for a large part of my life. So instead we slowly begin to put on masks around the way write just to make sure we get people’s attention or get along with everyone. It doesn’t matter what we think ourselves…as long as other people don’t count us out to obscurity.

That becomes the blogging “fad” I so hate.

So it comes full circle to the beginning. Would you sacrifice blogging about who you are when your life hasn’t been a particular walk in the park in favour some recognition from the surrounding community?

For me…no.

If I can never be as outspoken as the rest of the interesting blogs out there. Then there is no way I can pretend to be otherwise. I can’t do it in real life and I sure as hell can’t do it online…not with the life I’m living…not with the principles I’m having…not with being who I am.

All I can do is make sure the people around me who are willing to listen stay true to who they are rather than resort to hiding themselves away for people to like them.

All I can do it keep hoping people would openly recognise, appreciate and support me for who I am in my life as I put it down here in my posts.

All I can hope is there is I don’t want to be an obscure underdog any more.

All I can hope is I can bask in the sun like everyone else.

But that’s all I can do.

The rest is up to you.

38 thoughts on “The Hypocrisy Of Blogs (Principles Under Fire)

  1. All I can hope is there is I don’t want to be an obscure underdog any more.

    But how can you be certain that you are a underdog? Must things really be defined as how you perceive them to be?

    What you see may not be what is the scenario. Even if you keep saying that you are an underdog, some people may not think so. But insist on pushing yourself as an underdog keeps you there.

    As for cheery posts getting more hits than sad posts, while this is the more blatant and apparent scenario, THERE are places where sad posts get more hits than cheery posts. You’ve seen it in action everywhere.

  2. This is something I, as a newcomer to the blog scene, have been thinking about as well the past week. I immensely enjoy blogs that are funny and humorous that get a very high daily hit count as a result. They appeal to a wider audience. And I’d love to make people snort in laughter like Kenny Sia, and I would love to kick up controversial entries like Huai Bin at SixthSeal, and I would love to get insider news from a little bird to inform the whole of Malaysia like Jeff Ooi but then I thought… is this my niche?

    I agree that there is a blogging fad occuring in some of the new blogs out there. And when they blog for the sake of doing hit counts, the quality of the posts is pretty much noticeable regardless of how many people visit their site.

    Keep your head up mate, the site is yours, the writing is yours, never doubt yourself. Sure, there are acceptable tweaks to to your writing that you can apply to make your writing more appealing but write what satisfies yourself before satisfying others. There are a few hundred million people out there online and some of them will like the bait and bite.

    Btw…I’d like to plug a blog post by Danny Foo @ http://www.dannyfoo.com/archives/2005/05/bahasa_malaysia.html . I’m sure the Malaysia blogging community can add more purpose to their sites.

    Cheers! Great site!

  3. I’ll give you a sad post that is really popular. Here.

    Be thankful you’re still around to “walk around in more areas of the park.”. If you think you aren’t interesting enough to contribute to appetite of the blogosphere, then go out and live your life!

    I know and understand that each person is unique.. but being outspoken is definitely one of the things everybody should try to be!

    But since you’ve voiced out your…..concerns…I say, you’re quite outspoken enough.

    Sad to say, in reality or in this virtual world it’s really like this. Sex DOES sell. And nobody wants to relax in front of the computer reading dilemmas.

  4. Well, it depends on what aims you have for your blog. If you look at it as a popularity contest like our dear friend “friendster”, of course there is a need for you to blog about things that will make your readers happy.

    For others, like me, I blog about things I feel strongly about, whether it is joyful or depressing. It is an outlet for unexpressed thoughts. Who cares what the readers think? People are already putting a lot of masks when they go out to the world. Blogs should be honest, especially to the writer. That’s the reason why I hate people who comment on the content of my blog. At the end of the day, it is your blog. So you decide what should be in it. And don’t worry about low readership. The blogosphere is very large and they just probably haven’t bumped into your blog yet.

    Remember that bestsellers are rarely critically acclaimed 🙂

  5. I lament the day that blogging has resorted to becoming a popularity contest to see how many hits you can get with a particular entry. To me, blogging is, first and foremost, an avenue to speak your mind. No matter what it may be. Melancholic, depressing, funny, controversial, it’s part of who we are. I started blogging two years ago. But even then, the concept of saying exactly what you feel was a risky thing to do. You might hurt someone’s feelings, or you might be misunderstood.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are an outspoken, interesting person. Your posts are insightful, and while it is true that some of them tend to be a tad too melancholic than others, they are interesting to read.

    Average hits don’t matter when your writings have substance in them. And if someone manages to find your blog among the thousands of blogs that are out of there, and if they stay around long enough to read one of your posts, it means they took the trouble to seek your two-cents’ wroth on life.

    Me, I don’t know if what I blog about is worth the time taken to read it, but based on what the few who visit my site have told me, they relate to it, and they know what it is I’m trying to convey. And at the end of the day, that’s what matters. At least, to me anyway.

    So, how about you?

  6. Minishorts: How sure are you that I’m not an underdog? I percieve them the way the evidance suggests according to average amount of comments I get and hits I have from incoming sites that are not from search engines in comparison to other sites I go to…yours included.

    Wil: Thanks for the support.

    Jaylle: Trust me when I say the life out there that I live. It’s interesting to me…the way I see it. It’s just that it’s wholly depressing to alot of people. Besides, I don’t think other people want their sob stories published online. That would be highly unethical of me. Not many people can be naturally outspoken and have people around them take notice. That’s usually the problem in all this.

    Chris: Bestsellers aren’t critically aclaimed? That’s a new one on me. What if as my post suggests all people want is the little attention to their plight? Even a lot of my more melancholic posts is a cry for some attention and comfort from people that I can’t get in real life. Often these are overshadowed by the other happier posts because as much as people you should write for who you are…it doesn’t mean that they can accept you for who you are.

    Ganesh: True true, however substance isn’t much without the recognition and appreciation behind it after all…what is a post like this or a thoughtful post if there isn’t anyone to ponder it and discuss it with you? You can be outspoken as you can be, but outspoken without anyone there to reply or continue the conversation can be very well be the same as speaking to a wall. If you’re comfortable with that…you might as well not be blogging and instead resorting to just the old school writing diaries. I wrote about it in more detail in my other post

    To All: Well…I think many of you misunderstand the sad posting point. It’s in referrence to people like me who constantly write about our life which is well…problematic to say the least. I’ve got lots and lots of posts on some parts of my life which is insecure and…well…just really painful to me at least. People tend to avoid the large collection of that.

  7. ed: you talk as if our lives were not ridden with troubles like yours.

    some people just choose not to make it obvious that troubles are troubling them.

    but knowing you, you’ll just say something like, ‘yes but you see, you don’t have this this this, and i have this this this, and you always have people who stick out for you, as for me i don’t have bla bla bla… and bla bla bla.’

    we can go on forever and forever.

    i’ve argued about this topic with you for god knows how many years, how many times, and … well…

    even though i know that this is a perfect and prime example of ‘best we agree to disagree’, i still HAVE to tell you this: it all lies in how you choose to perceive, how you choose to regard, how you choose to live.

    either be bothered enough to be melancholic, or maybe be lazy enough to not bother, or be melancholic enough to sweep it under the carpet, or be ignorant enough to not give a damn, or be blur enough to not understand, and the list goes on and on… .

    The way I see it,

    some underdogs don’t even want to admit that they’re underdogs. others who are not underdogs keep trying to bang in into themselves (as well as others) that they are underdogs. the result? a painful and endless cycle. rather pointless, but the world is made up of all sorts.

  8. Minishorts: You should learn to really read a bit more than to say something like that because you aren’t bothered to try and know me well enough to know that’s the furthest thing from my mind to say that right now. I never said that people don’t have trouble as well. I said people tend to avoid talking about melancholy. If they avoid their melancholy…what makes you think they’ll want to be knee deep in other people’s melancholy. That’s what I’m trying to say. So the world is what it is. Doesn’t everyone have the right to have people there to support them in spite of who they are? I do remember blogging about that a lot.

  9. edrei zaharikamigoroshi: since you obviously accuse me of not reading your posts carefully, I present you the randomly picked blockquotes, read in a rushed hurry.

    Remember that yes, this is your blog nonetheless, and you’ve allowed me, us, to comment here FREELY. So these combined is my voice nonetheless based on my quickreads nonetheless, defined by my perceptions nonetheless and my knowledge of you nonetheless. I’m opting to turn this into a CONSTRUCTIVE discussion, the best that I can, and there are no ‘shoulds’ to dictate how you’re required to perceive my posts. Not even a plea to beg you to read carefully what I’m about to say. (Which can be cryptic, something that minishorts is well-known for)

    Do read. And don’t seeth. And when you start to seeth, remember I’m not your average ‘Come boy lemme give you a hug and tell you that the world still loves you.’

    I don’t like being corny. I DO care, and I hate it everytime you accuse me of being uncaring.

    YOU SAID:

    Now I have avoided listing writing about thought-provoking posts here because in essance that is what I have been doing ever since I started blogging in the first place. It just doesn’t seem to have the kind of attractive effect I would expect from people because at the end of it all, most people just skim through the posts subconsciously looking for the 4 things above.

    minishorts says to this: perceptions. what you choose to perceive as ‘thought provoking’, may not be the same to others. what you choose to perceive to be posts that will bring forth reactions, may not be the same to others. humour, is in the eye of the beholder. so are beauty, sadness, anger and etc.

    YOU ALSO SAID:

    there are people like me who doesn’t have the general things to be well known in the masses.

    minishorts says to this: another perception of yours. what you perceive to be ‘well-known’, is again, of YOUR perception. i cannot be more famous than you, i just have one more reader than you have. likewise, i cannot be more disliked than you, i just have one more hater than you have.

    YOU SAID HERE:

    So in the end it becomes a power struggle of principles to balance between a deserved attention and underdog obscurity. I for one at least startd blogging because it’s a big world out there and I figure I could at least find people who could understand and support me for who I am.
    Results have been disappointing thus far.

    minishorts says to this: deserved attention and underdog obscurity, measured by what you perceived and finally ended up saying here: ‘the evidence suggests according to average amount of comments I get and hits I have from incoming sites that are not from search engines in comparison to other sites I go to…,’ mine included. and based on this, you define the results as disappointing. but i say that some people (such as myself) just perceive the results not to be disappointing. Back to blogging. Some people are contented with just 10 readers, most of them his own friends, but some can have 8000 hits a day and lament about being without any real friends. Now what do you say to that?

    You can’t fight a system that is built on our own narcissism and natural tendancy to blank out things that use our brains. I should know…I’ve been doing that for a large part of my life. So instead we slowly begin to put on masks around the way write just to make sure we get people’s attention or get along with everyone. It doesn’t matter what we think ourselves…as long as other people don’t count us out to obscurity.

    To compare this to:

    I said people tend to avoid talking about melancholy. If they avoid their melancholy…what makes you think they’ll want to be knee deep in other people’s melancholy.

    and minishorts says to this: what makes you think that people are slowly putting on masks? what makes you think that people are avoiding to talk about their melancholic experiences? what’s make you think that when people do not respond to a melancholic post, it means that you’re not wanted, that you’re not popular? how can you measure being cared for by the amount of visitors, or by the amount of comments you get to your though-provoking, melancholic posts?

    obviously you count out the conversations these people have with caring friends who ping them, just to ask, ‘how are you?’ online. you count out the efforts that people take to try to make a person stray from the melancholic topics… NOT BECAUSE we don’t want to talk about the topics, because we want the person to be happy and to talk about being happy instead of focusing on the sadness. Not because we don’t like listening to sadness, but because we don’t want a sore to fester and hurt even more.

    Most experienced people (not you, not I) would choose to focus on happiness to blank out the sadness. Not that it is a wrong thing to do, blanking out the sadness. if you choose to leave it behind, eventually it will be forgotten. and forgetting a sad thing, doesn’t make you a bad person. it just makes you very human.

    Finally one more thing here:

    Doesn’t everyone have the right to have people there to support them in spite of who they are?

    minishorts says: Yes. Everyone has that right. But this, too, i’d rather know that I have ONE true friend, than ten uncaring blog readers acquaintances who pop by and say something that SEEMS caring, but in reality, they don’t really bother because this person is really a stranger, writes well nonetheless, but oh you know, what can I do, but afford him/her a kind word or two.

    p.s. it isn’t always that minishorts writes a comment that is longer than the posted entry itself. please treasure this.

    p.p.s. and oh. btw. you should also learn how to read my comments MORE carefully than to reply my comment like that just because you’re too indulged in your own opinions to even bother to think about how i’ve been trying (for almost three years) to ‘be here for you’ and to understand you the best way i can.

    what is a friend? is he the one who strives to understand and know you? or one who is just contented with caring, even in his own way, even when he is accused of not understanding you? you may opt to say, both, my dear, i would like to have both.But then, there’s a catch though, you can only pick one of the two. Life’s like that, ed, you can’t always have everything.

  10. … did you shut off the html code allowance? i can’t get the codes in at all!

  11. Screw popularity. I just blog about whatever comes to mind. Sometimes it’s funny (well, to me anyway), sometimes it’s insightful (again, maybe just to me), sometimes it’s just completely irrelevant (to everyone else). I just blog because I enjoy it. If I get any popularity because of it, hey, great. Not saying I wouldn’t like that. But the bottom line is that I blog for me.
    It’s all good, just keep blogging about whatever you want to blog about. 🙂

  12. Minishorts: There is certainly so much I can reply to here. A lot in fact. So if you still want me to explain it, that’s what MSN is for. So I’m just going to say this for the time being. I told you time and time again, in the end for me it isn’t about finding the answers or having people tell me what I don’t have. If perceptions is what you speak about then by all means perceptions too is what you’re talking from. You should already know why I so crave attention especially when I’m most down. You should already know why I never come to you when I’m at my most down and why I would still be there to listen to you when you have something to say. You should already know why I can’t always let go of my own melancholy as easily as other people. In fact…you’ve known me so long already as so you should know the exact reason why I wrote this post.

    Part of friendship is about trying to figure out the best ways you can relate yourself to your friend and make the best of it. Part of being a friend is making sure they are most comfortable as themselves around you. To me…that is everything. You should know why.

    Jordan: Yeah we all should blog for ourselves…but there is a reason why we blog for ourselves. Some reasons of course explain why some of us just feel better with more people reading and commenting that’s all.

  13. finally you’re saying that almost makes sense. almost.

    ‘should’ is a very strong word to use. i always remind my students to practice the liberal dishing out of this word with care.

    friends should not set ‘should-be-achieved-s’ unto friends.

    maybe i should know why, but that is not for you to define how i should realize it. neither is it for me to dictate to you how i want you to accept me.

    along the roads of growth, we learn many things about ourselves. what have we gained today? a lot i believe. i don’t know what you think though. i’ll talk to you personally on msn once i get the chance to have a 100% concentration online, rather than the on-off work thing that I get to do nowadays.

  14. Hmm. I think that your little exchange here with minishorts just goes to show how much of an impact your blog is.

    I don’t know man, if you really wanted millions of people racking up the counter, you know that all you need to post up is a MAS video (you’d only get a few hundred if you make your own vid). We all want someone to acknowledge our wonderfully witty commentaries and muse over our anecdotes, but I mean, you don’t do that to everyone yourself right?

    Besides my friend, the internet is a perfect place for people to hold up their elaborate masks. Need I remind you of the Xfresh forums? I know of some who go out of their way to do something so they can blog about it.

    I’m not going to say that I understand what you’re about, because hey, I barely know you. But maybe I do have an inkling about how you feel.

  15. Priya: I do that when I do come across someone’s thoughtful musings or sad thoughts. In fact…I can never tear myself from any philosophical post or when someone is just…down. It’s just the way I am at least to pay attention to something like that. As for Xfresh…well…I wash my hands of that one, yes…people wear masks online in places like those, but isn’t the personal blogging about expressing one’s self to the world? We already lie about it enough in real life, let’s try to keep something pure somewhere. Besides…this is about trying hard to be appreciated, understood and recognised for what you write, not about writing for the sake of getting hits.

  16. Hey buddy,

    Why the sudden concern over your popularity? I do read your blogs for the genuine attempts I perceive at finding reality. The 64K question is what do you want to get out of your blogs? More hits? You don’t strike me as the person who cares about shit like that, but then again, I’m judging based on your blogs alone. Who knows what you really want. I too blog as a way to find reality and finding like-minded people is great. Nobody reads my posts but then again, I’m looking for a very specific audience and the only way to catch a rare fish is to trawl the oceans. But c’mon… the very nature of our search condemns us to take the path less trodden on, passing as shadows amidst the bustle of life, forever destined to be chained to flesh, yet as shadows we are free from the coil of all things of the flesh, closer to eternity and nothingness, pursuing and consequently, discovering deeper meaning behind our existence at a level unimaginable by those blinded by the light of the sun.

    Still, at times, the sun is fun. Just be yourself, that’s the best.
    p/s: the one blog I find to be most influential to me personally is http://atinyblip.blogspot.com because his neurotic experiences are uncannily similar to mine.

  17. Tormentt: It isn’t popularity per say. It’s more of like what you’re trying to find appreciation from the audience. To understand more what I’m talking about regarding the attention bit, I wrote the first part in this post. You’re looking for a specific audience yes…but I’m looking for specific thoughts and feelings from my audiences. For those of us born into that darkness, there is nothing more worth than finding the sun. At least there is the appreciation in the light that we walk upon even though we can never seem to stay there permanently. I am in search of finding my own place in that sun. The hope for it is never a bad thing. Sometimes the small slices of heaven are already there in that hopeful search for something. That can never be a bad thing at all.

  18. This is about trying hard to be appreciated, understood and recognised for what you write, not about writing for the sake of getting hits.

    Well, that’s sort of contradicting yourself isn’t it? Don’t mistake counter hits for recognition.

    Finding truth is a hard thing to do, that’s why people would rather lie. It’s whether you can live with yourself that way.

  19. priya: I think ed answered me in one of my mile-long comments that he measures how ppl appreciates, understands and recognizes him for what he is based on the comments and hits he gets.

    I percieve them the way the evidance suggests according to average amount of comments I get and hits I have from incoming sites.

    THEN AGAIN, if you know our friend edrei long enough, you know that he’s not the kind who will just say something non-committal as, ‘well, yeah, to you, aiyah, i’m just down now, i want more hits once in a while, you know, make me feel happy to at least see numbers, once in a while.’

    he’s not the kind. ed’s defence barricades were already way up high before this blog even started. they’re not AS HIGH as they were before, but still high.

    OK I shut up now.

    Afturds somebody say say i don’t read carefully and don’t strive to understand pulak. babais.

    (clucks away)

  20. I’ve figured not to mull over lack of comments. I have a friend who is afraid to comment because she is afraid to look stupid in front of another blogger. I also have people deeplinking me in other blog comments and yet I do not know who the commentor or blog owner is, or how they got to my blog!

    Benefit of the doubt. It would do the world some good.

    In your blog, I think it’s simply that people are speechless. You’ve said it. You’ve exhausted thought on it. You’ve concluded it.

    Your questions sound rhetoric even if you don’t intend them to.

    If I came to your site, saw two comments like “wow that’s so thoughtful and true” I would hesitate to be redundant.

    Start a Paypal account (I imagine it to be easier in Australia) and we’ll contribute to getting you a cheap digicam so you can do 3). After a while, text looks the same and I can’t tell if I’ve read it before in a quick glance, y’know?

    Here’s to picture-added posts.

    Or maybe Get… uh you know where we get them from; those picture-added posts.

  21. hello. wandered by. my goodness. you should be grateful to have a friend like minishorts who is unafraid to call a spade a spade.

    as a complete stranger, this is my take (i assume that non-complimentary comments are welcome too, in the spirit of the attention factor that you mentioned).

    you probably are a decent person in real life. but the tone of this post in particular screams –

    “please find me interesting!! uh, hardly anyone online does? damned populist hypocrites. they must be fakes. i won’t resort to their tactics (because i don’t have the skills/experience “i don’t naturally have”) just to pull in comments. but dang, i so want more comments, like those populist fakes.”

    um. doesn’t that sound rather sour-grapey? or a tad of taking oneself way too seriously?

    skimmed thru your archives. you do have language skills, yes. there’s a definite theme of melancholia, yes. as your second commentator pointed out, there’s proof that melancholic posts do get lots of hits. the difference when compared with yours is perhaps:-

    1. you do tend to ramble and be repetitive. yes, you’re broody and have lived a melancholy life. it’s quite clear already, without needing to persistently draw attention to it. people may be emphatic, but the attention span does tend to wane after repeated bombardment.

    2. there’s a distinct smell of “poor me” self-absorption. another guaranteed repellant.

    Observe the writings of those people who write about their bad times/experiences and still garner lots of comments. More often than note, their posts are observations/notations, instead of invitations to engage in a discourse. These observations obviously strike a chord in their readers.

    Sometimes what is intended to be self-deprecation just smacks really badly of attention-seeking self-pity.

    Much as in real life, if people aren’t interested, they just aren’t.

    On a brighter note, I’ll say that I was interested enough to comment.

  22. Priya: I can understand the counter hits part, but it’s just comments which just gives the feeling that I’m not alone. It was part of your blog a while back regarding frendship and being alone and I replied that the worse parts is living alone even though you’re surrounded by people. I spent my childhood being alone for a large part of it and I guess this is my way of trying to make up for it. The defensive barriers which Minishorts so “eloquently” put it is just a habit of me a long time ago trying to prove to people that I’m worth their presence and I’m not just a failure as my parents always said I am. It’s not really contradictory when you think about what I really look in all this.

    Minishorts: You’re just being insensitive about it anyway. Look, all I want out of all this is what I don’t usually have in real life which is just SOMEONE to BE there for the comfort. I don’t have it in real life and yeah so what if I try to find it online. People like you Minishorts I certainly don’t need in my life when I’m down because it’s NOT the truth and answers I’m bloody missing. It’s someone to hold me long enough for my to finish off the damn answers. So your idea of “friendly telling the truth about things”…you know why you will NEVER be a person I turn to as a friend in need. Not ever and certainly not now.

    Albert: I don’t even have enough hits to be woth that amount of cash donation. 🙂 Like I wrote in the post before this, its an MP3 player I really need right now…what I seriously need right now.

    Xene: Yeah…this is one of the days when I’ve had it as much as I can with this solitude. Think about it, if I advocate that certain I blog for who I am stance then really…there has got to be a reason why I have been blogging all the melancholy and self pity. Everyone has a tough life yes. Some of us just don’t have the chance to have someone there to listen to us at all. Hence the posts. I got to have an outlet somewhere or I’d really go insane.

  23. Hi edrei:

    I followed with interest your constant conversations with minishorts. Maybe I can share with two obervations from my fav poet: Max Ehrmann (from desiderata):

    *If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself.
    **Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love,; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

    I use a lot pof poems in my posts, but whether it is sad, melancholic, happy or reflective, it’s still eye-openers to the human condition, and understanding leads to appreciation of life. e melancholic if thou wants it be as long as it leads to enlightment of ThySelf and FellowHumankind.

  24. Ylchong: My reply would be my post here. I appreciate life as myself far more than average because I have been deprived of living it for too long. But there is only a limit to how long a person can be deprived it before they completely exaust their will of living it. That’s where the attention of the people around them comes in.

  25. Alamak Ed, didn’t read properly as minishorts pointed out. *ahem*

    Aah, you have the only-child syndrome too I see. Am understanding a bit more. We all have ‘defensive barriers’ I think; mine’s sarcasm. It’s a natural thing to protect yourself when everyone seems to be an enemy. But I digress.

    Is it validation you seek?

    P.S. Don’t listen to Albert about pictures. He’s just rubbing it in with all the colourfully distorted guitarists on his blog. Bleh. =) He’s got the point on the whole comment thing though – not everyone’s as eloquent as you are. There’s only so many times you want ‘Hey, great post! Makes sense! You rock!’ scrawled on your comments page.

  26. Priya: It’s trying to feel belonging I seek. So yeah…validation is part of it. Actually I don’t mind that scrawled over my comment page if the post really meant something. 🙂

  27. Hey Kami,

    I don’t know you, and have read very few of your posts (so far), so I’m simply reacting to this post on face value.

    You really need to stop looking to others for validation. i understand you think you have lots of problems etc – and why don’t others want to read your melancholic posts – well, buddy, people probably don’t read them because most of the time, melancholic posts are just a nice way of saying “Whinge, whinge, whinge, wallow in self-pity”. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you need to purge – but don’t expect others to find artistic merit or entertainment in the post.

    Neither should blogging be a way of boosting your self esteem. Go and do something substantial or worth being proud of. Teach english to impoverished kids or something.

  28. IB: It pretty much depends on how different we see each of our lives. I don’t see teaching impoverish kids or like what I do as something to be proud off. It’s just something any decent human being would do. You got to understand that in the end, it’s how some of us grew up as and why we seek for such things in out lives and wondering why the obvious solutions already haven’t worked thus far. We all got our own problems, I just usually happen to deal with mine by independantly as well as well…the people I care for. So yeah…to keep be going…it is that validation that is important to me in any way possible. No man can fight a wat by themselves without staying completely sane.

  29. “I don’t see teaching impoverish kids or like what I do as something to be proud off. It’s just something any decent human being would do”

    Yes, but do you actually do it? I’m guessing you’d rather feel “validated” by some fake ego boost from people telling you you are “popular” on line – in a world that doesn’t really exist. As opposed to validation through something REAL – achievement, hard work and real effort at doing something that is rarely rewarded by others, sometimes unpleasant and always hard going.

    The rest of your reply doesn’t make sense. Especially that last sentence. I think you are trying for “No man can fight a war by themselves and still stay completely sane” (otherwise you would be contradicting yourself). I beg to differ. I see individuals fighting wars – REAL ones, every day, alone, and they are saner than most I know.

    It requires the courage of your convictions to stay sane – an internal validation and not some fickle external source of validation that is easily lost.

    IB

  30. Yeah…I do. I do whatever I can to help however I can. I don’t say much about it because seriously, what’s the point of it?

    Whatever you guess, I would have to say you’re offtrack because I’ve written before that for some of us see no difference in what’s online and what’s in real life. It’s still part of the world no matter how you look at it. What is real but in the actions of what you do. Is there a difference in me teaching impoverish kids or giving a friend online I care for the strength to keep pushing on hard despite her troubles. To me, there is no difference…I’m still in this plane of existance to begin with.

    The difference is what I have right now to make that change. There is no validation for what you do in life. We have no right to even seek validation for what we do even if it is what society deems as noble.

    At least to me acknowledgement should be for who a person is. Being sought out solely because people know you can do things they can’t isn’t satisfying validation. I should know that very well.

    I live that world where wars are fought by wills. You see it. It’s a completely different thing. We all have our quirks and we all have our ways of staying sane and we all have our breaking points as well. Every soldier knows this. That’s why in real wars out there you rely on yourself and the person next to you as well. No matter how much courage you have. No matter how much will you have by your own. It’s finite.

    So what would do when you break that point.

  31. You’re a pretty confused fellow.

    ” We have no right to even seek validation for what we do even if it is what society deems as noble.”

    Your whole post is saying you want validation and are not getting enough of it from this blog.

    Anyway, this is YOUR blog after all, so I shall leave you to wallow in your own confused cesspool of self-pity and negativity. Good luck.

  32. I think that confusion is at your end…after all there is a big difference in who you are and what you do. You best know those differences before you step out there into the world. It’s also best to read a little more indepth before you say the wrong things for something completely different. It is after all much better than making a complete fool of yourself by saying something quite amusing.

  33. ON a side note, that explains your obsession with validated code. 😛 Dude, quit losing sleep over that. You are saving (emotional) lives by being a girl’s best friend. You’re a good man. You may just have gotten too used to girls calling you sweetie or something.

  34. You are far far far better off than me.

    I have been writing in the yahoo mailing groups for the past eight years. I have written 5000 plus postings on several subjects.

    My readership is far far far below that of an avarage blogger.

    Yet I keep writing.

    For me its something like riding a tiger.

    There is another analogy.

    A monkey which has caught a snake in its grip. The snake would have died. But the monkey dare not release its grip.
    Until its own end.

    So…….

    Reelayk-lah, bradder

  35. For me, a blog that just exists to share jokes isn’t a blog. There are plenty of sites out there, ebaumsworld or collegehumor or something. A blog is about something personal, something somebody has deemed special enough in his life to share with other people.
    I’ve said this once, gotten lambasted for it, I’ll say it again. I hate Kenny Sia. His blog used to be about cool stuff. Like… I don’t know, go read it for yourself. It’s been a long time, about 4 years since I found his site, before the Star or some other newspaper reported it.
    Now it’s just a joke site, with thousands of comments saying nothing but ‘haha kenny’. What people call ‘blogging’ nowadays.
    But enough about him. When did it become like this? When blogging started, obviously. Some people’s writing just naturally attracts more attention – maybe they’re trained or something, or maybe their topics just attract more attention. For me, it doesn’t matter. I blog about what I like, it’s out there for people to read. Why must I herd you all over to read my blog? If you’re even remotely interested in the subjects I talk about you’ll come over eventually. My writing speaks for itself. If you don’t… I don’t care. If I want to announce something to the whole wide world it goes on the effing forum.

    Peace.

  36. i started out like you as well. i mean questioning the current system, attempting to steer away from the general blogs around the blogosphere. As for myself i write about things i care about/that i find funny so it really depends on what you want to do. if you want to have more traffic i suppose you can do the “kenny-sia” or if you want to be controversial you could be “raja-petra” but i suggest you don’t unless you love ISA and naked squats(yes he didn’t do it but who knows right).
    As for me this question has arrived too many times already and i suggest just go with the flow, i don’t think you should compromise your blog just to get hits by the public just because you entertain their need for fast, cheap crude humor or the need to see over-egoistics posting “cam-whore” pics online or their sexual exploits.
    i don’t think you’re an underdog…please check my blog, and then you will surely know what’s an underdog in that context..lol..

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