Not too long ago, someone asked me how important my domain name and specifically my blog is to me. Of course, along the line of that conversation, it became apparent that my name and my blog doesn’t mean anything to him whatsoever and that pretty much set the ball rolling on things. If it isn’t important to him and to others that I blog, is it important for me as a person to blog?
In the weeks after Blogathon 2006, I didn’t feel the need to blog except when I had something to say. In any case, I thought that it would just be the combination of being burnt out after Blogathon and the added responsibilities that I have taken in my life. Of late, I’m beginning to realize that as compelled as I am to put my thoughts down on a daily basis, it’s becoming more and more apparent that I don’t have to do so, because there is less than a need to do so.
The importance of being a blogger with a name that everyone could recognize will always be of narcissistic self-interest, it doesn’t matter if we use it as a logical step to advance our careers, it is still of self-interest, it’s just one that makes more sense. It’s needed even if you wanted it.
But to those of us who do it purely for the sake of our need to express to the general public, now there is the 64 thousand dollar question, what if we didn’t feel the need to to have our narcissistic self-interest satisfied to advance Maslow’s hierarchy? What if for some reason we discover that there is more to everything than the fevered need to tell the whole world what we think?
The truth of the matter is, as much as blogging has become something of a pop culture, much like how webpages with images of a dancing Jesus with dinosaurs were in the early 90’s, no one in general really bothers with it. On a global scale, the percentage of people with access to the net is pretty low, much less are the people who actually bother with blogging, much less are the people who bother with reading blogs, much less people who actually consider what those blogs say. Put it all together, you’re going to wonder how are you actually going to satisfy your own need for self-worth when the people that consider what you say worthwhile are relatively negligible?
So in a roundabout way, I guess I found out what I’m looking for. With all the principles that I stand for in blogging, my blog and my name is important to me. It’s what defines my online identity and persona which I proudly showcase to the world and I am unwilling to part with it. Yet on a whole, what I write, when I write and how I write is as important as I view myself towards that world out there. Whatever that matters in my life, I am not going to find it on my blog, just as no one is going to have their’s entire perspective of life turned around just because of a few words I put down. It might turn a few heads, but it’s not going to change the world. I can turn around and not bother about it for years to come simply because no one would miss me in the end and because my name and my blog will always be there when I return to it. It’s something you can’t really do outside that door.
Maybe I understand now that as bloggers, we are compelled to express what we can’t to the world beyond the screen, but that doesn’t mean that we are apart from that world, nor does the world we find refuge in any different from the one we seperate ourselves from. As insignificant we are in the real world, we are just as insignificant here in collective 0’s and 1’s. The only definition of self-worth and self-interest is one that we all are going to have to find and build for ourselves, not by the opinions we express in here, but by the actions we represent out there.
Living life isn’t as hard as we would like to think. Living a blogger’s life on the other hand could just be another rocking chair in life. It gives us something to do, but it certainly wouldn’t take us anywhere.