The Secret Of The Perfect Relationship

"We're not an item. We just act like one."

Sometimes the good things in life are the ones where you don't have to call out the obvious, it just is what it is. Apparently even I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it feels good to stand where I'm standing right now…even when I know it's going to end real soon.

I guess at the end of it, this wraps up my understanding about relationships between people. Why people have the relationships they have. Why some people who commit to lovey dovey things everyday still break up and why some people who barely do it can stay together for a lifetime. After all these years, after all my own failed relationships. I finally get. It's all about trust.

I have lived enough to know that there is no such thing as the perfect person nor is there a fairy tale ending, but I still believe that there are such things as a perfect relationship. Relationships where strengths compliment each other's weakness, where equals and opposites are at the right place. Perfect relationships exists…it's just that we have to bring it out and thats where things start to go wrong.

It is sad that the cynicism and unsaid insecurities are the diseases of the generations today. We live in a world where we always keep that part of us away from the world because we don't want to end up being hurt. The sad thing is…it's that very sense of distrust for the world that makes the world the miserable shell it is now.

How many times have we had opportunities lost because we were too afraid to grab the chance? How many times have we had things we have destroyed because we were so scared we were going to lose it anyway? How many times have we had the people we care for walk away because we didn't believe in them to care for us? Too many times I have seen it. Too many times I have lived it. I think it's time to change that.

Relationships with people are all about that trust. Trust to watch your back. Trust to care for you. Trust to believe in their abilities. Trust to open your heart to them and let them take you higher. How deep the bonds go between people depends on how well you trust a person to be themselves with you. Without that, no relationship would go anywhere.

And it shows…in the way we do things between people. Why do couples act all lovey dovey? Because when you think of it, touch is a way you can reassure each other that you're there for them, that you can trust them to be there for you. Why do friendships fail? Because you eventually realise that you can't trust a person enough to watch your back when the chips are down. So when you boil it down to that simple equation…all you need is to know the reasons why you trust a person. It doesn't have to be that you have to feel them. it doesn't have to be that you have to tell them. It just has to be that you are there when you need to be there.

Trust is something that is unspoken for. It cannot be told or written or felt. It is something you earn by the actions in which you live life between the people you're conencted to. Without it, we are the very definition of the loners we have become. Without trust, there can be no connection with people. Without trust, there can be nothing to be entirely human about. Without trust, we are nothing more than living a lie in a nightmare of our own making.

I'm not saying that trust is something you should give freely. As I said, the world is a place that can burn you. It's just that by the end of it, the choice for how you want your life to be is entirely yours. You can take a chance and give your trust to people that earned it. Or you can take the chance losing out a life where anything is possible. I trust you can make that right choice. I really do.

6 Comments

  • November 20, 2005 - 02:44 | Permalink

    Man! When I read your words, I feel like I am reading my thoughts. It’s just like looking into a mirror! :)
    Great work! Keep it up, man!

  • November 20, 2005 - 12:21 | Permalink

    Odd how I was thinking about writing something along these lines just two days ago. It’s true though.

    Sometimes trust is all you have to go on.

  • Alfie
    August 1, 2008 - 05:28 | Permalink

    There is no such thing as a perfect relationship in this world,

  • Nadia
    October 22, 2008 - 13:18 | Permalink

    This piece truly touched the deepest spot of my thoughts. I was at the verge of giving up on trust, but it truly created an eye opener for me.

    Very powerful words.

    Thank you

  • January 13, 2009 - 15:37 | Permalink

    You have said exactly what I feel about the “relationship” I am in now…

  • Vanessa
    January 19, 2009 - 05:22 | Permalink

    You are the first one who gets it!! and who ever said there is no such thing as a perfect realationship.. your wrong. i know u are because im in it.. you can believe me or not. but me and my partner have been going out for 3 years and 10 months. and i totaly trust him with my life and he does me. but we were best friends for 2 years, and we can talk about anything.. i stil love him the same way (if not a milion times more) and he does me.. the only thing i can say is if you trust some one like that you become one.. thats why it works because you dont really get mad at your self because every thing is acceptable to you.. i can only say one thing more, there might not be some one perfect out there, but the trick is to find the one that is perfect for you, the one you see as perfect, and even when you think they have flaws, you wont change the or even want to, because there totaly perfect..

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