It’s been a long time since I thought about how much my blog has become a part of my life. If there was ever a time where it was a separate deed on its own, I can’t really remember when it all blurred into a single aspect of my daily ritual. Yet this blog, these written words, the frozen thoughts and feelings of time’s past has become a source of comfort in these troubled times. The symbiotic relationship I have with my words has provided me with inspiration to keep going even in the darkest, loneliest times.
It does make me wonder at times, as much as my life burns the flames behind the words I write, how much of what I write drives me to do the things I do in life? It’s understandable that in any case, my blog is fueled by the experience I have being out there, thinking, feeling, doing. Yet, by writing, by trying to find a source of inspiration to write, I have inadvertently forced myself to live life as a means of filling in the blank spaces in between those words. Just as much as this blog is about my life, my life has become my blog.
When you look at it that way, I don’t know whether it is a sad thing to admit. That your own blog has become one of the sources of inspiration for living on a day to day basis. Yet at the same time, when you think about it, it doesn’t sound so sad. Given that I still believe blogs are a reflection of one’s self, there is nothing wrong with a little written introspection. After all, there is so much to consider in one’s thoughts then you look at it from another perspective other than within your own mind. Writing them down is one way of making any sense of it, or at least see whether it sounds less crazy than it does in your own head.
I guess it all boils down to what your own blog means to you. For the rest of the normal world, blogs are a means of communicating and sharing our perspectives with other people, but when you focus on that point a little too much, you begin to get suckered into becoming an desperate, attention seeking, blogger with a penchant for camwhoring. For some of us, it doesn’t really matter who reads our thoughts, so as as it remains that the number person you’re writing for is your own introspection or passion, to which then, having your blog direct where your going in life isn’t such a bad thing.
After blogging for a long time, it just seems natural to take why I blog and how I blog to a level that’s much more personal than before. I’m not saying it’s wrong to be someone who wants to connect with the rest of the world and have them respond back. I mean I would like that too, but it’s not what this blog has been about or at least has become. This blog has become an important part of my life, to which I answer to no one, even if I share with everyone. My thoughts have always been my own, and where I go from there is a choice I will keep making.
And keep writing down.