As the twilight of the ending day grew considerably darker, so did my melancholy. The expanding dark never failing to rekindle the demons that plague my mind. How it has ravaged my mind for so long tearing at hopes, blinding me to the simple joys that would have otherwise given me a new life. A better life.
Yet after all that has endured, that darkness of a memory has at least given others a new lease in life. The sole redemption of my mistakes being the voice that guides others out of their own nightmarish prison. A faint candle in their dark. It has given me a purpose to keep moving forward, to keep searching the night for my own deliverance so that I may once again embrace the light.
Why? Why must purpose and conviction be given and strengthen by others? Why after all that I can do for others, am I no closer to finding a way to make amends for a past that should have never been?
I do not know, but that has always been part of the journey. To live is to seek our own purpose and to live out our purposes no matter the road taken. We are never alone as even if we try and shut people out and maybe that has always been part of the answer. To realize that our purposes and desires are shaped by the people that have made an impact in our lives. To understand that to be more than who you are, you embrace the people in your life. To learn that there is always a hand in the dark to lead you out into the light.
I am not alone. I have never been. All I can do now is to hold the hand that guides me and hope as each and every one of us hopes, that one day we can step out of that darkness and see the sun once more. Even if it is the last thing I do.