I'm going to take a leave of ambiguity and be straightfoward for the moment because I'm in the mood for it.

Yes the current state of a certain part the Malaysian blogsphere is likened to a pile of overused toothpaste that has been squeezed out of the tube and reused because people are too lazy to buy a new one. It's not exactly clean, it's not exactly something that's worthwhile. It just is what it is. Something that was once fresh and new but has turned into something that deserves to be tossed away.

At this point, I would start hammering out types of blogs and saying how they pull down the community we're in. But I can't, because whether I would care to admit it or not, I am part of that community. I am part of that which determines the state we are all in, as are the rest of us who belong to that community. To condemn the community for its quality would be to about as similar as a leper calling the rest of the leper colony as diseased ridden. It isn't exactly the best course of action, though it is the most obvious course for many.

Even if we can start pointing it out, what's there to do? A community is built on many rather than one. And as far as the one goes, bloggers can be one of the most self centered, narcissistic bunch of egotists that have the pleasure of self endorsement under a roof of false humility and self-serving greed. You can't really serve the best interest of the masses when most of us are built that way on our blogs. So, what is there to do?

The truth of the matter is, there is nothing we can do. A community has its foundations on individuals, joined by a common cause to create it. For whatever reasons that brought us together, it isn't exactly a reason of universal growth or the cause to better ourselves, God forbid. It's so simple. It's just our narcissism calling out to whoever wants to listen and with hope have our 15 seconds of self satisfaction knowing that someone looked our way.

I can't deny that it makes me feel good knowing that someone has read what I have to say. I don't think whatever I write is trash even if I come off as a whiny schoolgirl who stubbed her toe. I think I am, just like everyone else, is entitled to expressing ourselves within the limits of responsibilities. And that itself contributes to the root of the community, for better and for worse, but because everyone has a different definition on how far we can say what we want to say, that can be a very disturbing thing.

So what is there to do if nothing can be done to the community? Well, if I remember to look out the window, I tend to notice that the world is a much bigger place than the room I'm currently occupied in. A community by far, is still a room filled with a bunch of people. If I'm not mistaken, there are other rooms in which you can be a part of too. Rooms that will have other people looking for the same things if that is your choice to look for them. It doesn't mean that I am abandoning the current community because I have found am part of something new. As I said before, we make up that community and as such we are part of that responsibility to maintain it…or see to the end if that's what it takes.

In the end, it all depends on how much we're willing to see it through. Or whether we grow up. Or whether we realise it just isn't about ourselves and our 15 seconds of self gratification. It's about whether we realize what we want for the future isn't more than a bunch of words cobbled together to form a reasonably coherant sentence. It's become a part of our life and it's something we don't want to see thrown out at the end of the day.