As some of you faithful readers would know, a few months ago the love of my life broke up with me and left a bleeding hole where my heart used to be. It was painful and for a long while, the only thing I could ever see in my life was the pain that reenacted itself over and over again on something that was indeed my whole life.
For too long a time I cried the silent tears of loss. For too long time I lived on the sympathy of others to comfort me through those hard times. For too long I felt isolated from things because I isolated myself from those things to care for my own broken heart.
I guess it’s about time I have to admit to myself that I am better off now than I was before. The bleeding hole is still there no doubt…and so are the nightmares and scars I bear from a relationship that defined living for me. Then again, it wasn’t sympathy that I needed to see me through the hard times. It wasn’t the guilt or pity that sadness such as this exploits that I needed to see me through.
It was opportunities for me to make a difference that I needed most.
In the world that I should know better, sympathy can of course garner anyone the vote that they need to start something or do something that they are working on, but sympathy overused is never the final solution to getting something done in life.
More often than not, guilting people into pity and sympathy with words is more akin to the story of the boy who cried wolf. People will be there for you in the beginning, but as people begin to know you more, it ends up with garnering as much support as a person who has been accused of crying wolf when there is no wolf…and with this much cynicism in this world thus far.
It’s not hard to numb yourself against the same cries for pity.
As always, at the end of it all…it boils down to the effort that an individual person is willing to put into to see things through. People and friends can be there, but at the end of it all, they are the ones that just are…there. They are not the ones that would change your life for you, they can only make you feel less alone than you already feel. In the end, whatever in life you want, whatever things you have to do always begins with your own hand.
With your own sweat.
With your own blood.
I remember that now…and as much as I have cried those tears in the past. As much as I have tried to garner as much emotion from others. At the end of it all, it’s better to appreciate the fact that you can experience this much pain and hardship because you know what it is like to feel happiness and ease. Or in a round about way…it’s about how much you’re willing to bleed now to earn what you want in the future.
That way…when people step up to help you.
You know its because they respect you for your efforts.
It’s because they treat you as a friend and want to help as one.
It’s because in the end, you made a difference in your life.
And through it…the life of others.