You Were Never Part Of My Life

Almost everyone I once knew now seem like strangers. There is a certain sense of disconnected reality from the life I was once a part off that now comes off as either immature or just plain pointless altogether. It’s understandable that a life you once were a part off could shape the person you are now, but the seperation from what I deperately tried so hard to associate myself with in the years and months before seem inconsequential to what I have become. Should I be grateful to the shallow reaches of a culture built on the who you know and what you have right now?

The most straight-forward answer would be no.

The most honest answer would be yes.

The most practical answer would be that it doesn’t matter.

Yet given this sense of freedom from needing to be with those that seem to swim the waves of popularity, maybe it isn’t about connecting with just any crowd to feel the sense of belonging I’ve always wished so hard on lonely nights. Not just any crowd, but just for those moments in life that I am who I am, to connect with the right crowd. Easier said than done, but at least now I know I’ve been facing the wrong direction.

Maybe then I can feel part of something in spite of the world that I thread gently upon. Maybe at the end of it, that part of the world can feel something in spite of myself. Maybe looking in the right direction isn’t enough…but it’s one of many ways to start with something other than the mistakes that I’ve been running in circles around for so long.

3 thoughts on “You Were Never Part Of My Life

  1. Popularity was never your thing was it? I think we’d both agree on making friends for the sake of making friends, not for braggingg rights or for the sake knowing a lot of people.

    Take comfort in the fact that the ones close to you really do stay close to you. And that they don’t take the friendship for granted.

    Then again, it’s hard not to feel lonely, even if you’re in a crowd.

  2. Making friends because you want friends too has it’s own prices to pay which I think I paid for a lot. It’s hard to know who is or isn’t taking you for granted especially when you end up blinded by the single desire to be with people.

    So when all else fails. Stop and take a different path. Sometimes it isn’t about finding people to hang out. It’s just about finding the right people to hang out with.

  3. I find it useful to simply know your target audience when you’re somewhere. Meaning in certain social situations, where I can just let loose all hell and quirkiness which is me and certain situations when I shut my trap depends on the people who attend it. True friends are those who transcends shitload of things and still love and accept you for the way you are and you can just chill. In certain professions or activities, swimming the waves of popularity is the only way to survive so going with the flow is the only practical choice. When you’re honest to yourself and reflect at home, only a select few’s opinion really matters, and the rest can go to hell. lol.

    At least that’s how it is to me.

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